MYwanderings

Pu capable

2012-02-12T22:37:00.001-05:00

Seems to be something im hearing an awful lot these days..

Something overbearing about having constant deadlines without any reward at the end. No pat on the back, and the rare "thank you" is usually chucked out the door due to time constraints.

If anyone wondered what it feels like to be miserable, my colleagues and i probably have had a good taste of it. As much as i would love to not let it get to me, hearing it constantly from other people makes me feel for them, and creates a much greater loathing towards what i do for a living.

For those of you who protested on wall street, for those who think the "1%" does fck all for their money, think again. Yes, perhaps by the time you get to a high senior position, one may allow him/herself to let others do the "dirtier" work. But in order to get there, they also put in those hours. They invested in their future.. And hopefully the payoff was good enough.

That 1% most likely started work before most people wake up, and ended work at equally inhumane hours. That $ does not fall from trees is a lesson everyone should be taught.

The more i continue on this path, the more it amazes me to what point i am desensitized and think that the way i live my life is normal when it isnt.

The one thing holding it all together for me is a 10 hour drive away and i wish he were closer to give me some moral support. Planning my vacation and its details are giving me some strength. But even then i am finding hard to see the light.

I tell myself ive invested too heavily now, so why not buy a few more shares while the price tanks? My analysis had to have been correct. I would never have made such a poor decision otherwise.

Dont give up yet. We are so close. So so so close.

If he made it through sweat and blood, then so can i.

to be rich, or not to be... that is the question

2011-11-13T22:07:00.001-05:00

raised in an extremely traditional non-business-oriented asian family generally means a few things:

growing up poor: ok, fine, well not *poor* but definitely not of the greatest means. i remember not getting any pocket money ever, not getting money from a tooth fairy, and definitely no christmas presents. it's not because my parents are lazy/incompetent fcks, but it's because they moved out of their home country and had to start fresh in a foreign one, in order to provide me and my brother with better opportunities. however that being said, nothing was ever sacrificed when it came to nourishing me with basic nutritional foods and as well as nourishing my fantastic brain. my father spent hours and hours of his time tutoring me in mathematics and all the sciences, as well as helping me improve my written english as a child. needless to say, i surpassed him in everything (except chemistry in which he holds a PhD!) and without his constant guidance, i definitely would never have been top of the class without exception. not only that, but my parents saw musical talent in me as a toddler - i used to flick on the radio every saturday morning because we didn't have a telly and at 4 years old, i could hold a decent tune and knew all the words of the top 20 songs by heart! of course, they naturally didn't send me to receive voice lessons, but rather, to learn the piano. my father also sat through about 8 years of 1 hour per week lessons, and even when i was practicing would sometimes sit next to me to supervise. gosh, the dedication.

but despite all the love and support, money has always been an issue, and i've been working my little butt off sometimes with 3 jobs at a time to support myself through school and to be able to have extra money to "live" a little. surprisingly, i developed extra-fantastic time management skills and was able to probably squeeze more out of the time that was available to all of us than the average student. also, my ability to focus was probably unparalleled during my university years due to necessity. I couldn't afford to slack off and let alone procrastinate. my schedule just didn't allow me to do so and the consequences would be dire if i did.. which leads me to my next point.

never settling for 2nd best: receiving a grade lower than 100% was unthinkable. receiving a grade below 95% was punishable. and anything below 90% was... *HIDE FOR YOUR LIFE*. my parents always had extremely high standards for me and drove in a perfectionist seeking craze into my mind at an early age. i never wanted to be 2nd best, let alone 3rd. i always was the best (or almost..), well, until CEGEP. lol. and that's when you realize that everyone was "the best" at their high school and they are all gathered at your institution, driving the competition to a whole new level. i have to admit that this is one of my least favourite traits. i find it hard to "let go" of things and to stop when things are OK and will bring me a "good enough" level of performance. i always go an extra mile, and sometimes i find out it wasn't necessary at all.

this is definitely an obsessive compulsive disorder. at work now, sometimes, i catch myself wanting to do everything because i know that the way i do it is very good by anybody's standards. but it's just not possible to carry the world on my shoulders, and i'm coming to realize it in a very stressed out, bitter way - our society for some strange reason encourages mediocrity. everything is always compared to "the average", and being "above average" is a great feat. *sarcasm overload*

first of all, the "average" is just an imaginary line at which people find themselves sized up against; you are either below it, or above it. rarely will you find anyone that meets the criteria to be spot on, but as a whole, society is able to target this mediocre goal. however, because one is always compared to "the average", it really drives me insane. some people don't want to be more than the average. average is good enough. and especially in an environment which like i said seems to reward mediocrity, i understand why people don't aim higher. upper level management somewhat "punishes" you for being better by overloading you with work and throwing you into tough situations with minimal guidance, and no precedence. forget your rank, forget your knowledge, you will go through what they tell you to, otherwise you will no longer meet their "above average" expectations, which obviously i am dying to meet because of my OCD. i really need to learn to just let go, or to walk before i run.

being far too polite for your own good: my last point is really the most important one because i feel that this is where i'm truly lacking as a person. i need to stand up for myself more. now, most people may disagree, especially my asian friends, who find me extremely outgoing and pompous as it is. but compared to my non-asian peers, i am a quiet, wimpy little ghost who needs to speak more.

strangely, being outspoken here, means being hospitable, friendly, as well as confident which is often seen as a desirable trait. not in an asian household bro! i was raised in an environment where i wasn't supposed to talk when i ate, and when i was supposed to do everything i was told to do and not question anything because my parents had more life experience and hence their decision-making trumped my own. but trust me, from experience, they *dont* necessarily know more than you do. this world that i grew in is very different from the one they grew up in, and hence, their experiences don't always apply. the society i live in now is also quite different and the values are possibly quite polar as well.

speaking up and standing up for my beliefs is still something i struggle to do on a daily basis because i always hear that little whisper in the corner of my mind asking me, "do you really know what's best, don't you think that they would know better? what if you make a fool out of yourself?" but i've noticed in my peers that this is what "selected" them out of the survival pool. for example, take accounting recruitment, or any event where you have to showcase your leadership skills and somehow distinguish your puny face from the sea of other eager beavers. i personally didn't find it hard to try to strike up a conversation with people because i knew that no matter how awkward it would be, it must be awkward for others too. and this is an opportunity of a lifetime, so i better put myself out there and just show them how awesome i am. however, this concept was quite foreign to many, and i noticed the "asians" clustered together in groups, speaking amongst themselves and quite often gathered around the food area... WHYYYY would you waste your time? for the free food? trust me, not worth the extra pounds you gain.

so i guess this is sort of a self-inspirational post for myself mostly, to note down what went wrong in my life so far lol. i find myself questioning the things i do every day as well as the decisions i make - especially when i realize later that i didn't give myself enough credit or i didn't stand up for what i was worth. i know that all my life experiences have made me a stronger person and who i am today, but.. who says that my friend who has had everything handed to her on a silver platter, who doesn't have a job after graduating for 2 years and who is travelling around the world with trust fund money isn't going to be a happier person? food for thought. who is truly rich and who isn't? and would you want to grow up rich or not?... i'm just not entirely sure anymore...

cheers.

cracking soon

2011-11-09T20:27:00.000-05:00

not a day goes by when people (or mail) reminds me that december 1st, 7pm is d-day. or d-time.

i thought i'd have a relatively busy time at work and not think about it, only to suddenly be reminded the day of by my senior telling me to take the afternoon off and try to relax.

but instead, i have a slur of people asking me when i'll find out, and patting me on the back prematurely for a "pass".

what if i don't pass? what if i failed? (my eye was twitching an awful lot during the period that would coincide with the correction of the exam). forget my own disappointment... what about all the others?

there's just so much pressure for me to perform properly now, and people have such high expectations. i don't think i lead them to believe so at such a high level, and now i'm wondering whether trying to propel myself to the front of the pack was really worth it after all...

i don't want to disappoint, but i'm insecure now. the more i hear about it, the more i think about it, the more i doubt in myself and what i wrote. how could 7 questions be all it takes to determine whether i'm worthy of a designation, or whether i'm just that much closer? the test is supposed to be challenging, but it has been so inconsistent year-to-year that i'm finding it harder to believe in its "fairness" and "objectivity".

please, don't send me mail titled "mansi yu, CA", Desjardins.. that's just not cool man. i got all excited when i opened it thinking, "hey, maybe i passed and they're letting me know early!" LOL. i'm such a fool. obviously it was only to promote their services and let us know we are eligible for some wonderful rate :P

and dear, OCAQ.. really? do you need to send me a letter a MONTH in advance letting me know that if i pass, it will be written "congratulations!" and if i don't, it will say "sorry"???

~_~'''''''

and... tell me about your party a week or 2 before it will be thrown. not a month...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

and this is the hardest part of the whole process. the wait.
let's hope it was worth it...

sick for a week

2011-11-06T21:36:00.000-05:00

damn..

sick for over a week now.

i think my body is trying to tell me something here....

now if only my boss would listen too.

Time flies.. Although sometimes not fast enough...

2011-10-20T22:26:00.001-04:00

Didnt think i'd say this but i need next friday to come sooner..

I dont think i can dance this dance alone any longer :((( im breaking down just like you... Come back to me like brand new please??

thankful for

2011-10-10T15:43:00.001-04:00

every year, you get to this point where everyone throws around random quotes of gratefulness, and cheese and whatnot.

i really do hope that you have all taken a moment to think about all the wonderful things in your life though, on this "day of thankfulness".

more than ever, as we age (*tear*) i realize that the people in your life slowly start to fade out or to truly shine. friend circles are smaller, but closer, and we venture less to meet new people, or perhaps our environment and habits soon prevent us from doing so as well. some of my greatest friends have never stopped surprising me with their devotion and care that is beyond what should be expected from anyone! thank you!

this year so far has definitely been one of the most rewarding yet challenging times of my life; especially the recent month.

i continue to be challenged by people whom appeared to be on my side, but really, were just out to get me. it makes you wonder why some individuals haven't grown up, haven't learned that... if you don't know what you're talking about, ask questions and find out! don't just brood in your corner, being all miserable. people see you for what you are and won't enjoy your presence, whether roommate or friends. also, when people are just soooo self-centered, and have an ego that exceeds that of what i imagined possible, i want to abandon ship and just let them sink. not worth the effort anymore, if you know what i mean... it's just hard to deal with...

i refuse to give up, and i'll keep my silly mentality of "trying to save the world" because... how else am i supposed to survive if i've given up on myself and everyone around?! another thing that keeps me going in my current state is the fact that i do believe in some kind of retribution. everything balances out at the end! it's when you least expect it, and let's just hope you have some extra "good deeds" to bank on when that happens :)) *evil grin*

but really... i'm looking around me and i can count myself to be lucky. true friends are there for me when i need them, i have a loving tatertot who is getting whipped into shape both physically and mentally not that far away from me (lol im not doing any of the whipping! the military is!), and a family that is supportive and care for me immensely. i can't even begin to thank them enough for everything they've done for me, from giving me the strength to start my day to providing me with that extra boost to reach for the stars. i wouldn't be half the person that i am today without them and it's amazing how much you can still learn from people, despite how well you think you know them :) recently, i went on a roadtrip and a friend that i've known for almost 7 years and i had the most *amazing* 5-hour conversation. i was astonished at how few silences there were and at how much i laughed! best feeling everrrr, and also.. a rare feeling! he's one of my angels; i know i've pushed far beyond what can be asked for in a regular friendship in terms of the amount of care he has had to take of me, but i'm so glad that he's still willing to be by my side, and i really hope that he knows that he can count on me too. *smile*

a couple of snapshots of my recent foodings this weekend. :)) part of what it feels like to be blessed! :D

now my only wish is to see tatertot... soooon!!! let's pray that the 28th oct, i get to drive down and pick him up :) t-18!! :D ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. so excited!!!!

happy thanksgiving everyone! :)

oh how completely wrong i was

2011-10-08T11:57:00.000-04:00

note to self: don't trust people who you think are your friends, but that your gut tells you they aren't. they will screw you over, badly.

btw

2011-09-20T22:38:00.002-04:00

an afterthought.

this is one of the most gorgeous colours i have ever seen. the formula is a bit iffy as i find it hard to not streak, but.. gosh it's mesmerizing...

chanel - peridot

fall collection

cheers

rough week

2011-09-20T22:01:00.000-04:00

unbelievable week just flew by

wrote the 2011 UFE... *don't* even begin to ask me how i did - I SHALL NOT FIND OUT UNTIL DECEMBER!!! yes, i know, it's sadistic... so for now, I will simply have to sit like a lame duck and waddle around a pond in search of bread crumbs to ease my hunger...

apart from that my tatertot came to visit me! the last week was *almost* perfect, except for one exceptionally large glitch that came as a shock to both of us. but you know what.. it didn't even shake us! i'm so happy we've moved on from last summer and that things are actually different. i'm so happy, relieved, proud... :))

there are some really negative things that have happened to me lately, but i'm really trying hard to keep my head above the water that "the enemy" keeps throwing at me. im still surprised at the things people will do to try to remove you from their life, especially when they have no business in meddling with your personal affairs. i do hope that he does find what he wants because screwing me over only incites me to train an especially large dog to tear apart his "bits" if he dares approach me again!!

i couldn't have asked for a better ending to my week as i gluttoned my way through it with amazing cupcakes, wines, and fancy home-cooked meals, as well as a big ladle full of pure and simple happiness. *cheeeeeeeese*

damn, im going to need to some help with tatertot withdrawal :((

i wish i could be at his enrollment ceremony on the 22nd. i wish i could pick him up from the airport on the 24th to send him to base. but the military has very different ideas of what is allowable and what isn't from regular civilians, and i won't see him until the weekend before halloween!!

EEEEEEEK!!!!

countdown begins now!

t-38 days.... *dum dum dummmm* --> that's ominous music

cheers.

seriously mcgill?

2011-09-01T19:33:00.000-04:00

a month after finishing CA school, I still haven't received my exams... the UFE is in 12 days...

please tell me why I paid 2000$ for my summer program?

yeah. i'm starting to think it wasn't really worth it...

irene, you sassy b*tch

2011-08-28T18:21:00.000-04:00

if my pool floods over i won't even know what to say.

(~~btw the pool level is normally almost a foot below this~~)

cheers

pew pew pew pew pew

2011-08-23T22:44:00.001-04:00

new car -- CHECK!

new day -- CHECK!

picking up the pace -- CHECK!

"slowly slowly, catching monkeys" *big goofy smile*

cheers!

just.. stop it.

2011-08-21T21:17:00.000-04:00

WARNING: RANT BEGINS HERE

peaceful week, coming to an end, the new one is about to begin.

obviously today was the perfect time to instigate a shouting match.

please, continue to tell me i'm useless, that all the decisions i've made in my life are terrible and that each and every one of my relationships will fail because i'm a wretched person and because nobody will ever love me for what i am. then, sarcastically imply that i'm retarded and proceed to pretend to be hurt when i call you out on it.

also, i highly recommend that you continue to not provide for me, as i've paid for all of my expenses and beyond ever since high school - right, i do believe you've forgotten about me busting my ass, working up to 3 jobs while taking full terms in school to not fall behind everyone else and in order to satisfy YOUR spending habits, not mine.

no, it is NOT your right to tell me i shouldn't be taking out life insurance or buying the car of my dreams and that i should be saving for a house instead; when you have not the slightest clue what my spending habits and investments are like, you shouldn't be saying anything at all. how do you know i haven't already earmarked funds for it or have you even considered whether it is a good idea to think about housing when i don't even know where i'll be living in the future? you're right, i'm the one who studied finance and done all my research, so quit doubting me and stfu.

i'm so tired of being beaten around by you, pushed and shoved, used, just to get a "you're useless" in return. unfortunately we do live in the 21st century, and your obsolete methods for "raising" me are far beyond archaic and have done nothing but harm me and tried to squash out all passion and creativity a person could be born with.

tbh, i don't even know how i managed to turn out the way i did. i must've won the resilience lottery bc no child would have turned out properly the way i was treated. nobody would have come back to you and tried to understand your methods. nobody would still respect you the way i still do, and unfortunately the ice is wearing thin and i'm getting tired of it too.

no, i don't want to be one of those people, but i would appreciate if you showed me i'm worth something.

END RANT

evooooooo

2011-08-16T22:27:00.000-04:00

i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it,i can't wait to get it,i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it, i can't wait to get it...

seriously. i can't.

WHY IS MY CAR SO SEXY?!

now if only that douchebag dealer which promised our dealer our black evo didn't pull the most douchebag move and sell it before we picked it up... wth! i forgot when sales ethics got so low...

tatertot is leaving BC on the 29th, road tripping to U of A first with him fam... then jettin' across the country. how fast do you think he'll make it? :D

i can't waittttt!

in other news im bombarding my brain with information. hopefully it'll soak in and swell up like a sponge.

cheers.

ps. about the subaru: "it's uglier than a warwound" - said with a very posh british accent.

a different person

2011-08-13T00:05:00.000-04:00

so i never imagined that one day i'd be as happy as i have been lately..

the past week was absolutely perfect - the sun was out, the ocean breeze was doing its thing and i was so relaxed...

i woke up every day with a smile on my face as i snuggled close to him. *CHEESE BREAK!*

it's wonderful to feel so loved. thank you. i really needed it all! (told you the cheese break was needed)

NOW:
i have absolutely no freaking excuse to fail this exam and to not study hard for it because i know i have absolutely nothing else to worry about and absolutely nobody is going to prevent me from absolutely passing this exam.

:D

cheers.

depressing

2011-07-29T23:31:00.001-04:00

when you spend a friday night hacking away at 3 cases... >< sooo many indicators.. where did you all pop up from?!

wow life, when did you turn your back on me so sneakily?!!

d-day in 45 days. ~~UFE 2011 i swear i will conquer you.. really..~~

cheers

post-moving-day-hell of a mess

2011-07-27T21:56:00.000-04:00

2 rooms, crammed into one room half the size of the other room =

what a hot mess....

cheers

moving day

2011-07-23T13:30:00.000-04:00

im staring at the room and it's messy. but that will all be fixed as soon as we throw out the odd bits and pieces and when everything is neatly packed away in boxes.

i'll never forget everything i've felt in this room. all the good and bad, the laughter and the stress; i'll never forget the late nights i found myself here pouring my heart out to a stranger, and i'll never forget the day he became the center of my universe.

as he lies there taking a nap before we pack away everything that has defined us, i feel nostalgic for the times we've lived. how lazy we were everyday, and how we'd spend days just sleeping, waking up at odd hours, then cooking up a storm. how often i'd watch him fall asleep before i ran to the metro, praying that i hadn't missed the bus home...

things have changed since the beginning, but i'm happy to be here today. i'll miss him when he's gone and i'll probably wish i never left this little room.

it's funny how a few years of your life can pack into just a few boxes and suitcases.
and it's funny how i find myself having to go home now, when i finally feel that this is home.

cheers

end of seasons

2011-05-20T10:57:00.002-04:00

nooooooooo all the good shows are over for the summer!!!! ><

now what am i going to do with all this ~~free tim~~e... studying?

flipping through memories

2011-05-11T00:38:00.000-04:00

unlike most people, my baby pictures aren't stored in a wonderful box in the closet somewhere in my house.

i can't show them to anyone, i can't flip through them, and my parents can't tell me stories, because they're all back in china.

i spent the first couple years of my life there, and although i don't remember anything, every time i visit my grandparents, they'll tell the same old stories to me - and anyone who will listen, really - over and over again.

i never met my dad until i landed in england. i hated him when i was introduced because he was wearing red on his PhD graduation. i thought red was for women lol. below, there's me graduated from high school...

i was a curious little kid. i liked to pick on others of my size... or really, everyone has always been bigger than me, always.

i also loved to wear gorgeous matching sweatshirts and pants... oh the style. thanks mum. i also went to a public school with a uniform in gatley. i have nothing but fond memories from there... the teacher who always put on too much red lipstick so that it would stick to her teeth... mrs.. brady maybe? i don't actually remember.. :(

and of course.. i was a little piano prodigee ^^. this was from 1997 i believe. right before i moved to canada!

i just wish i could remember all of this..

cheers.

random bus ride

2011-05-07T15:47:00.000-04:00

it's been a while since i last took the bus the ENTIRE way home, and somehow i always end up taking the same 211 as the um.. well, "special" folks that take it every week at approximately the same time as me.

they smile goofily and probably aren't aware that everyone else is looking at them and hoping they won't sit down next to them.. i stare at one of them who is constantly shaking his head, smiling and picking his nose. also, he is touching the hair of the woman in front of him. lol.

they were probably all in their 40s, what with their greying hair and lines of wisdom. but... they have been taken care of their entire life, by someone else. by someone who probably doesn't care about them much at all. the caregivers seemed to be rather "meh" throughout the ride, and equally as indifferently unloaded their herd at the bus stop.

where is the family? why were they sent away to special homes? i always wonder what i would do if i were them, or if one day in the distant future my child was also like that. do they enjoy life as i do? what's to say they don't appreciate a ray of sun as much or perhaps even more than i do? what's to say that quenching their thirst after a long walk isn't as satisfying for them as for me?

we're all supposed to be born equal and live life as we please, but sometimes im finding that hard to believe.

yes. this is what long bus rides do to me.

cheers.

last summer of my life

2011-05-06T12:38:00.000-04:00

monday morning, walk in.

it's not too complicated, i know where i'm going. i know where i'll sit, who i'll be talking to and who i'll simply glance at and smile to without ever really engaging in conversation with.

perhaps i'm getting ahead of myself, but i've made a semi-acceptable schedule all colour-coded, multi-tabbed and geek-a-licious.

i've never felt this stressed out and i've also never realized how hard i actually have to study this time...

i'm going to enjoy this summer as much as i can because it's my last in many ways: the last time i'll get to make my own schedule and study as i please; the last i'll be able to spend hanging out with friends every night; the last i'll be able to spend with the boyfriend since he's leaving; the last summer i'll ever spend as a student; and my last without any external stress - only the stress i'll be applying onto myself.

*tear*

last crazy weekend - i swear. after this, it's machine time! drilling through all my theory begins asap! :D

and.. i finally got around to editing my huangshan photos...
my favourite of the batch...

d90, 18-200mm

Huangshan mountain range

august 12, 2010

~~and that's where i fell in love with you all over again....~~

cheers.

ps. next update - USA roadtrip! booya!

FML

2011-04-17T22:08:00.000-04:00

i lost my iphone. it was so young too!! *sniff*

fckin cab driver DROVE off with my phone in his car and he KNEW it was there. what an asshole!! i called my phone and he never picked up and then he just turned it off by then :P u know it's bad when they turn it off! asldjflskdfjslkfjalsdjfasf. that was basically a 700$ cab ride mfckaaaaa!!!!

now... i dont know whether i want to just replace it or to buy a different phone. after discussing with the wonderfully helpful fido representative (there actually is no sarcasm in that!) we decided that it was actually to my benefit to just buy a new phone rather than break the contract and buy the phone through them.

so..... android? im thinking of making the switch...

any suggestions?? i wanna get the phone in the USA when i'm there during the last week of the month... hopefully i'll get one that isnt available in QC and that is awesome... ha

cheers.

missing you missing me

2011-04-14T14:20:00.001-04:00

sunshine... freedom...

i miss this.

nikon d90, 18-200mm

xiamen sunset - gulangyu

20/08/10

if only summer would come faster...

cheers.

afternoon off

2011-04-01T17:12:00.000-04:00

hard to really say what i've been up to lately apart from mindlessly following prior year files and using far too little creativity for my own good..

UFE leave starts next week. it means back to school, full-time. this means no more 8:30 til your-senior-says-you-can-leave, no more awkward lunches trying to connect with people I really don't have much in common with and wondering how they gel so quickly (am i just that queer?), no more staring at the computer screen until my eyes dry out...

no wait. that last part is a lie. i will actually start writing my "comprehensive cases" in CA school, aka 5 hour long bombs being dropped on your brain while you try to rack them and think of something intelligent to spew out onto an extremely long word document, so i will be BURNING out my eyes instead lol.

but as bad as it sounds, i'm actually quite excited to get back into study mode. call me a geek, but studying is comforting. you can't fail at life when you study (at least from my experience). there is only you and your books. everything else becomes irrelevant and you can wholly focus on subjects that you otherwise would probably have no interest in learning.

school is something I took for granted during my university years and i really wish that i had taken it more seriously. i wish i went on exchange or lived downtown, surviving on beer and carbs. it seems like an experience of a lifetime that i may or may not have appreciated (you all know i love good food more than life itself) but it would have been a fun one nonetheless.

so.. one more week of level-grinding at the firm before i head back to my sweet cocoon of a course.

this time though, my final results impacts my life.. for realzzzzzzz. oh snap. looks like i have to be serious about this one.

cheers

scare the sh*t outta you

2011-03-21T21:24:00.002-04:00

raw. meat. ever thought about it when you cut through it while preparing a meal?

i never really have.

friday was a burst of emotions, something snapped. literally. shreds of photo paper flew everywhere as i blindly tore through my anger and what i thought was soon to be my past. i've never felt so much emotion overtake me and almost have a voided memory track in my repertoire of those couple of hours..

but when you wake up and realize that it's too late, that you almost did something you could never take back, it smacks you in the face and makes you wonder what you have become or why you lost it; when you wake up in a moving vehicle, strapped onto a movable bed, red everywhere, finger attached to a weird rubbery clip taking your heartbeat, eyes still twitching; when people are asking you why you did this, what caused it, whether drugs/alcohol were involved... you know something is wrong.

love your loved ones. cherish those closest to you. never let them forget how much you love them. we often disregard how much a smile is worth. forget money, forget fancy dinners and brand name clothes. i just want to be with you forever. let's keep it that way.

cheers.

chillin', or not really

2010-11-21T16:34:00.000-05:00

life has been a crazy blur right now. what with the hours at the office/client's, then the school lectures and studying/team projecting, and of course, the occasional wonderful dinners with friends and the boyfriend... i haven't been able to breathe!

i've been getting used to life as a white collar worker and despite my previous emo post, i'm liking it more and more. i try to find satisfaction in the work i do by exploring different aspects of it, or by doing different work altogether. this week, i was actually booked on work completely unrelated to what i should be doing. it was time pressured and it felt, well... awesome.

spending as much time with the boyfriend and friends is also really helping me stay afloat; keeping my mind sane and not too narrow-minded is key! i went to dinner and koko lounge with some friends this friday. so.. i think we totally pissed off the waitress b/c our "birthday boy", JEAN GUY, couldn't eat his damn cake. it's not our fault he's allergic to nuts! then we spent some time playing Wii like a bunch of 14 year olds, and finally headed to a chic-ish lounge, largely underdressed, pretending to be med students. ahhh. what a night. ~~(note to self: ginger ale mixes are surprisingly delicious and good at masking liquor flavours)~~

the one thing i miss now though is playing the piano and taking photos. those activities, at least for me, are much less interactive and much more introverted. i have so little time already and finding moments to squeeze these in are quite challenging. i guess i'd rather be having a good laugh with an old friend on the phone than touching up old unprocessed photos? but at the same time, i wouldn't. it's a clear choice that i'm making and not one that i regret, but one i wish i could reverse b/c i do miss it at the same time. i need to plan out my timing a little better and manage it from now on! rawr.

and lastly... here's a photo i haven't yet posted anywhere... it was taken in hangzhou at sunset... *siiiigh*. i miss the heat!!!

the colour always loses some of its glamour when i upload it.. but you get the point ;)

cheers.

ps. vancouver in 1 month! time to get my snowboard :))))

being an auditor...

2010-10-25T23:45:00.001-04:00

~~sucks so far.~~

i can't help but feel like i definitely chose the wrong career path. i lost my knight-and-knave puzzle without even realizing i had faced one.

the people you work with determine how much you enjoy your job. seriously. and although last week i was thoroughly having a good time and feeling like i was chillin' while accomplishing about 50x what i did today, the last 6 hours of work killed all the fun for me.

i've never known such a self-centered person. i've never known such an artificial person. someone so deeply terrible and bad.. something so awful ingrained in a living being...

and to some, they adore him. only to the blind, only to those who don't try to search deeper within theirselves and the world around them. to the rest of us, who are actually conscious of who we are, and what we are... i have seen the devil in person.

i pity him. but i only wish now that he would fall flat on his face and realize what a lonelylonely life he is going to live. the devil has no true friends. only companions who are either afraid, or willing to take advantage of his tricks.

gl to him. gl to the world. may you not be fooled as many others were. seriously!

cheers.

life of a grown up

2010-10-02T21:44:00.000-04:00

to be honest, it sucks.

as a kid, i kept telling myself it would be awesome once i'd be working and loaded and awesome. (lol) but now that im almost all of the above - lol again - it really isn't half as glamourous as it seemed. so what if i am earning a pretty decent salary for a recent university graduate? i barely have time to breathe now as i have 2 nights of classes a week and a 8:30-5:30 schedule, as well as an exam that scares the bejesus outta me to write in a year's time.

i've seen the people that graduated a year ago and who just got back to work after writing that exam. they looked old. they aged so much in one year. i don't want to be like that!!

so.. i'm still chillin'. i try to spend as much time as i can with friends and those i care about the most. i guess i'm really neglecting "career" development and my studies. should i straighten those priorities?

hehe, in other news, i'm finally getting a new phone! i thought i would fall in love with the bold 9800, aka the torch, but instead, well, it torched itself outta my brain :P - it was slow, the screen was unresponsive, of poor resolution, and the whole system just seemed stupid.

RIM. let me tell you something. if you want to target the business market, save your breath and forget the gimmicky things. do you HONESTLY THINK a business person wants a touch screen? no. ppl love blackberries for their KEYBOARDS. stop trying to be apple, and just man up and invent the best bb ever. don't give me technology of 3 years ago today. i'm not impressed.

on the other hand, the iphone 4, which i was really not wanting to "conform" to really blew my socks off. the crisp screen, the shiny-ness, the amazing responsiveness and just the overall ease of use made me pick it. now.. the problem is, they are sold out EVERYWHERE on the island of montreal... how on earth am i going to get it?! rawr!

alright, enough random rants. i want to watch episode 2 of "breaking bad". the first one was interesting enough to keep me hooked. thanks S. :P

cheers.

another long due post

2010-09-14T02:45:00.001-04:00

my last post was all the way back in august, on my last night in china. it has indeed, once again, been a while.

i wasn't entirely finished with my story... so forgive me if i desire to continue ;)

after huangshan, we proceeded to drop off our friend in shanghai, where he would be going back to canada, and we would be continuing our trip. the ride to wenzhou was a bit rough as it was a long ass bus ride, but after about 7 hours of butt-numbing turns, we made it.

tyler's grandmother welcomed us with an AMAZING meal. honestly, and possibly the best shrimp, crab and meat i've ever tasted. either that, or i was starved! XD according to tyler, the region is very well known for its seafood, which also explains the skinny physique of the locals.

and what do they look like? the girls have high cheek bones and small eyes, and the boys are scrawny and short. :P that pretty much sums it up. but hell, i got so many stares when i was walking down the street with tyler that i was constantly asking him if i had something on my face. apparently, wenzhou people are actually quite disciminatory. they worked hard to become what they've become nowadays (props to wenzhou for being the city where i saw the largest disparity in income: the most luxurious cars and houses, yet the ghettoist ghettos of them all) and do not welcome foreigners with open arms. not only that, but clearly, i looked nothing like them at all. even at the salon, getting my hair washed, the girl asked me where i was from, and told me i had a lot of "american flavour" looool. no idea what that means really, but i do know i look different - dark skin, wavy hair, more chubby... just not the same...

that night, we went to watch "aftershock". it was.. an absolutely heart stopping movie. i cried from beginning to end. lol. and although those who know me know that i'm too sensitive for my own good, i dare you to not cry during this one. it would be impossible and inhumane. a brief synopsis? a happy family living in tangshan during the '70s. then, bam! one night, one of the most lethal earthquakes EVER hit. family no more, the movie takes us through their fragmented lives and show us how they do/don't deal with their losses. i will say no more... GO SEE IT/STREAM IT/I DONT CARE, JUST WATCH IT!!!

*sigh* we were supposed to go out after the movie, but i came out of the theatre with fish eyes, mascara running, and a broken heart. ayaaaa. lol. def not a film you want to bring your date to :P

after our quick stay in wenzhou, tyler and i headed down to xiamen, which would be our last and final stop. the city itself was very different from others as it thrives mostly on tourism and its label as an official SEZ (special economic zone), not to mention that the people are just SO much more laid back and chillaxing all over the place - the beaches just work their magic. spotted with banks and ATMs at every street corner, this town is surprisingly ..NOT populated as opposed to most other chinese cities. hence, the great air, the smell of the ocean, the old men playing some card game at the docks while sipping on some tea, and the kite flying.

despite slight mishaps during the first morning, i thoroughly enjoyed my stay in xiamen. we went out two nights in a row at a club called "Louis One", where we met two girls who became our travel companions for the next day at gulangyu island and were really just so sweet.

gulangyu is about.. a 3 minute speedboat ride from xiamen, and is kind of like your small tropical european-ish getaway town. the architecture is quite spectacular despite it's ultra-touristy-ness. we churned with the waves (after which my stomach definitely churned) on a small pedal boat, smoking our cigarettes and admiring that blood red sunset. ahhhh. the good times...

something about china i'll never forget are how wonderful the people can treat you, but how nasty the next can be. from the smells to the cacophonic sounds of crowds and even couples arguing in public, it truly is a special place. the sunsets are the most spectacular i've ever seen too... red as a ruby and just... breath-taking. if you haven't been... now's the time to go. the country is absolutely booming, and ... communism? pish-posh. we are the most capitalist country in the f*kin' world. guaranteed, or your money back ;)

anyway, it's good to be back though. things are slowly falling into place, and my life is about to start chugging away at full speed like the maglev in shanghai. work starts on the 22nd, school has already started. i'm an adult now. and it's finally hitting me. damn. no more fooling around. i've got to succeed!! ^^ wish me luck!!

cheers!

title me up!

2010-08-30T16:40:00.000-04:00

this trip has been ridiculous. i have never visited so many places in so little time. granted, not much time was spent exploring most cities, but we got the essence of most of them, at least i hope.

after shaoxing we headed to hangzhou for a few days. we lived on a pedestrian street, one of the really touristy ones where you will find your head spinning from all the smells of the street food, the sounds of the percussions and vendors yelling out their goods and prices, as well as the dizzying array of colours and crowds of people streaming through the place.

i discovered the joy of watching a grumpy looking chinese man fluidly pour liquid sugar onto a flat surface and draw me a delicate bird in flight. amazed, i wanted to treasure it forever, ... but just ended up eating it anyway lol.

hot as hell, we still did quite a bit of sight-seeing, from the West Lake to the Wetlands that were made famous by some movie's love story, to the Pagoda that crushed the Snake... it made me realize something so suddenly. who says Chinese people aren't romantic?

hell, we may be the most romantic people in the world! everything has a story, everything comes from legend, and EVERYTHING has to do with love. my heart was swollen and eyes watery from an entire day of epic love stories. or maybe i was just feelin' the dust in the air. who knows, really.

after that, we headed to suzhou, famous for its many beautiful gardens. freaking hot place as well, we walked around the canals a bit during the night, wondering where we could get onto one of the many boats we saw cruising around with live music entertainment. instead, we sweat a lot, and tried to appreciate the beauty of the trees, lit up by various lights, surrounded by mosquitoes.

the next day however, we did go to see one of the gardens. we visited the "Liu Yuan", one created by a doctor for his patient's recoveries. it was like a little maze! (all the better for them not to escape i guess lol) i loved loved loved it, and just wanted to sit in the garden and soak in its beauty, despite the overwhelming heat. i love places like this because i can just sit and imagine how it used to be. bustling with servants rushing to serve their masters, and the patients trying to take in their surroundings but probably in a haze from the drugs. *sigh*. my imagination definitely gets the better of me.

we hopped right onto a train (or was it a bus?) to nanjing, where we were greeted by some of tyler's family members. on the spot, it was decided that we would be going to huangshan in the morning. woohoo! wake up call at 4:00a.m.; it was a 3.5h drive afterall. the driver was insane to say the least, as from time to time i would wake up in the car and look at his speedometer. 160km/h, 180km/h. lol. but despite his ridiculous speeding, we got there in one piece, and the mountain air quickly woke me up. i can't say the same for the others though.

we took the cable car up and... let me tell you that the view is just stunning. it isn't a wonder that huangshan is a place where poets go and create some of the most memorable love poems in Chinese literary history. if i could commit suicide by jumping off a cliff somewhere, this would be where i would go. no joke. the rocks have really peculiar jagged formations, and the pine trees. oh the pine trees! they are soooo beautiful and grow at funny angles, and are so lush and fresh looking despite how arid the rest of the area looks! i'm amazed at their ability to survive and i bow down to their persistence in this game called life. i want to be resilient like that! i want to grow despite how harsh my environment treats me! i want to learn to be a tree. hmm... how buddhist of me. lol.

the stairs killed us all though, but we huffed and puffed and got through maybe a tenth of the entire mountain range's circuit lol. it may sound like very little, but covering about 12km in up and downhills is rather impressive, and i'm proud of our little group for it! ^^ despite how ridiculously steep most of the stairs were, and how scary and eery it was to walk down the other side of them, my loss of breath was to the surrounding mountains. to the mist. to the thought of many of those who had walked these paths before me and had fallen in love with the mountains, just like i did, all over again.

strangely, at that point, i thought of bob. i wondered what he was doing, and if he still remembered me. i wish i could've brought him with me. i wanted to contact him but he doesn't even have a cellphone number. damn. what was i thinking not taking down his qq? (msn like thing for chinese ppl) so i walked alone for a while. just to get some peace and quiet (there definitely was a lot of complaining!). it wasn't too hard to lose the rest of our mini-pack because everyone else was exhausted. thank god i have good cardio and beastly legs lol.

glancing over the edge of the mountain, i lost myself in my thoughts, immersed myself in things i shouldnt really have been thinking about at that time. what have i done this summer, what will i do with the rest of my life? how will i come to terms with who i've become, and can i change? will i change? or will i just revert back to my old ways?will i still be as silly and self-centered? will i continue to take everything for granted? all questions i was asking myself.

it's hard to change. despite the events of this summer. but i believe i have. i'm definitely more headstrong than i ever was, and less fragile. i see things from a much less optimistic view, but that doesn't mean i'm a pessimist. i'm just a cynic; always have been, always will be. but... i think a part of me has died. i'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing yet, and only time will tell.

sorry for speaking in such mystical terms. but i'm not entirely sure myself yet. i hope you can understand. i'm not feeling like myself tonight, and perhaps blogging at 4 in the morning without much sleep at all isn't the best idea.

my flight is in 8 hours. i'm excited. but scared. lord have mercy on my soul.

cheers.

sleepless in shaoxing

2010-08-07T17:53:00.001-04:00

something about going out for the past two nights is probably the reason why i can't sleep tonight. there's too much running through my mind, too much that doesn't actually make sense.

shaoxing is a relatively small-mid-sized town and is culturally very well known for producing both great poetry and shaoxing wine. naturally, if you dig far enough into the city, one can uncover the old canals of centuries past and revisit writer's homes while sipping on home made spirits.

i much prefer this kind of a pace to that of the bigger cities just in terms of culture and people's level of friendliness, but we decided to go out clubbing here, and... things are different.

the people that i've met aren't as fortunate as us. i can't help thinking about my friend "bob".( i decided to call him howard because it's closer, phonetically, to his chinese name, but i'm thinking that "aaron" suits him better now lol. ) he's only 18 - and to be honest, perhaps even younger than that - and hasn't had the most perfect life.

he didn't graduate from highschool, i doubt he even graduated from middle school, his mother passed away when he was 8 years old and his father well... what father? he's a hairstylist now and in china, they work extremely long hours (12-15 hours/day). as such, the hairdressers all live together in one place, and that means that quite often, you could find yourself sharing the room with 8-9 others. how ridiculous is that?! he tells me that he hates living with so many other people, so sometimes, in order to escape from it, he'll just go and spend the night at an internet cafe watching movies, chatting, etc. when i met him, it would have been his 3rd night without sleep. it's a dead-end job and he can't quit because... what else would he do? he doesn't have the motivation to go back to school, nor the means. shit.

but, despite all of it, he was so pure. and he was good. at least in my eyes. his values were still right, and sitting/chatting next to him on the warm pavement until the boys were already eager to go home, i could tell that he was still a genuinely nice guy; warm, generous, sincere, and most importantly, honest. how can someone still be so good despite what happened to them? why do i feel like he's untouched in spite of all those negative experiences?!

and now i feel lame. really really lame. i feel like WE are lame. us north-americans don't know pain. these people do. they have to fight for every minute of their lives. we don't. the world is oh-so-unfair, and even though i knew it long before this early morning blog post, the magnitude of imbalance on earth still shocks me. i cried for him. and for many others like him who toil away and who probably will work very hard until the end of their lives and who won't get to make it that far in life. they will probably never get to travel outside of this province. or if they do, it will only be to where "home" used to be. their pure intentions, and natural goodness is what truly overwhelms me, and makes me question our bringing up because many people my age from canada are not as respectable, imho.

i feel a need to so something now. what? i'm not quite sure yet. but i know that i can't let stuff like this happen. what goes around comes around? i hope it does for them. i hope everything turns out right. *sigh*. and i hope bob will stay the same until the next time i get to see him. good luck bob.

shanghai in a day...

2010-08-04T14:25:00.001-04:00

is not possible. this city has too many twists and turns and just too many buildings to go visit in one day.

i only ended up taking the subway until century street and then walking around the IFC where we sat down and had the "whitest lunch ever"* lol* as i quote our entire table at "chez nous", a semi-buffet. now, you may be wondering wth a semi-buffet is. basically the entree is fixed, but your appetizers and deserts are in true buffet style. lol, the name isn't exactly very accurate, or all too accurate. depends on your point of view :P

silly me, thinking that soysauce covered in olive oil was actually balsamic vinegar and olive oil. WTH CHINA! stop putting weird stuff with western stuff!! it only confuses me! so i had a very asian salad, smothered in soysauce and pine nuts lol.

apart from that, my impressions of shanghai aren't exactly sky high right now. the ppl are a little ruder than in other places in china; i guess it's the parisian syndrome, where they feel like they are better than the rest of country. the directions that i have received today have been all over the map, quite literally. people rarely give you a straight answer, but will kindly (or not really) point out that you are indeed in the wrong place without actually telling you where the right place is, despite knowing the directions. it's frustrating for a tourist because the city is a little hard to navigate. even our GPS couldnt figure out where we were - it was convinced we were on the lower level streets and not on the overpasses so it kept telling us to take a right when we could only go straight!

i did however get to experience shanghai from the 85th floor of the jinmao building, squinting through some poorly cleaned glass. the inside of the hyatt is rather impressive, with its round, snail-like, almost reminiscent of the guggenheim's interiour design. while my friends sipped away at 50RMB lattes, i stared up from the coffee shop to the 88th floor, where flashes were going off non-stop from tourists taking pictures of the impressive downward view. there was a feeling of surreality, but amazement. nice couches too lol.

the expo is HIGHLY OVERRATED. i almost don't see the point of actually going into the pavilions, especially when the line ups are a few hours under blisteringly hot weather. oh yes, i almost forgot to rant about the weather!!

it's SO HOT IN SHANGHAI! when i walked out of the hotel today, i felt as if some engine were in front of me, spewing a very large amount of exhaust pipe heat into my face. i could barely breathe as we were walking and spent the first 5 minutes adapting to the air outside of the air conditioned building.

so back to the expo: i basically walked around and checked out all the pavilions from the outside. the buildings themselves look rather interesting and peculiar. my favourite shaped building has to be the british one because of the weirdness of the spikes and really the originality of the design. the spanish pavilion also looks quite peculiar, being made entirely of dried mats, or something like that. i couldn't understand why it was so big though, nor what the dried mats had to do with spain lol.

at least canada made sense. a large building, with lots of empty space, made out of wood lol. the interiour was designed by cirque du soleil, and you definitely get that feeling as you walk into the room with the videos and the "velo-cite". something quite magical and tingly happens when you walk in and see all these familiar images being projected to the world. habs, ste catherine street, etc. we do have something to be proud of after all.

but the food was rather disappointing. the poutine was absolutely atrocious - fries were underdone, sauce was incorrect and cheese was 1)the wrong type; 2)not warm/melted. dude, there are only 3 ingredients in poutine, and not ONE of them was done right. lol. kiiiind of sad!

i guess it's worth spending one evening in the expo thought if you are in town or have already booked your ticket to shanghai. entrance was 90RMB per person for the afternoon pass which is from 5pm-11pm ish. you have just enough time to walk around while avoiding the scorching daytime heat, see a couple of pavilions, eat some food, and then squeeze your way back into a bus and catch the last metro!

after my visit to the expo was over, i decided that i NEEDED to see the bund. everyone talks about the bund when they go to shanghai. it is indeed a place for lovers, and my heart ached a little when i saw all the couples hugging on the riverside, looking so happy and at peace with one another.

other thoughts? the skyline isn't as impressive as in HK though because the buildings just aren't equipped with as many neons and bright, shining lights. the otherside of the river showcases some beautiful european designed buildings, and it strangely reminded me of montreal's old port. it made me miss home.

*sigh*. so right now, im going to head to bed, with a sore heart and a longing for montreal. travelling has taken on a whole different meaning right now. i'll have to think it through before telling you guys about it. much love from shanghai. x

blogging from the other side of the world!

2010-08-03T23:16:00.000-04:00

wowww it has been a while. i really wanted to keep up a regular blogging record for my own sake if anything, but i just don't have access to blogger in china - it's blocked. as for now, im on my friend's laptop using my dearest mcgill VPN to access the site lol. ohh mcgill. at least thou art good for something!

i have so many things to write about because i haven't updated in so long.

so far, my itinerary has been:

- 20th july: MTL --> HK
- 21st july: arrival in HK
- 21-24th july: shenzhen
- 24-28th july: HK and Macau
- 28th july - 3rd august: shenzhen
- 3rd-5th august: shanghai
- 5th august...: shaoxing

i've basically been in the southern bassin for a little bit since my family is around there.

i remember going back to shenzhen last year and thinking.. this is where i belong. this year, i have come back, and i feel completely different. i don't fit in.people stare at me as i walk down the street. i'm constantly fretting whether i have something on my face or in my hair or on my legs or arms, etc.

i think it's because i look like them, sort of, but im darker, so they get confused since the Asian ideal is to be snow white - it's a sign of class and richness because only poor people need to toil away under the sun. also, i have very black, curly hair, something that is also somewhat strange to them. whenever i go to a hair salon, they always tell me that my perm is very natural lol. but.... i don't have a perm and never will put my hair through such atrocities! funnily enough, they don't believe me lol. ohhh wells. the men also seem to think im a prostitute. yes. indeed. i've been asked a few times how much i cost... and trust me, it is not flattering at all. it actually is quite demeaning, like i have something wrong with me. ughhh. i dont dress like a slut either! ppl here are dressed wayyy more revealing than me! so wth china?!

the air and water is just... something different too. im not used to such stuffy air. the humidity is overwhelming. i sweat non-stop here. no wonder everyone is so skinny! it's like a 24/7 sauna. but ohh the airconditioning is rather a wonderful thing. blasting out from open store doors, enticing you to just stop by, even for a few minutes... genius lol. these chinese people have their marketing right.

the crowdedness of the streets also makes my head spin. my mum's friend brought my friends and i to a local place that is especially well known for their seafood, and the restaurant had 5 floors, each floor with at least 100 tables as well as a terrasse with over 100 tables. and guess what? on a monday night, it was PACKED. as in, we got there early, but people coming in later were all waiting for space.

that's right, our economy kicks ass. just a little. the sheer volume of customers is incredible. i don't blame the west for trying to exploit my country. there is indeed quite a lot of opportunity, and my brain is ticking away with ideas right now... :P

as for hongkong vs. the rest of china... it's different. (for those of you who don't know, hongkong is its own special autonomous region - has its own gov't, currency, etc.) it's expensive compared to the mainland but i don't feel like the quality is that much higher. my honger friends might disagree and say that it's less sketchy and whatnot. ok, so SOME places may be better, but in general, i'd say that hk is almost lagging behind the huge growth china is experiencing. hk has somewhat plateau'd in terms of progress and hence to me, wasn't as impressive as it used to seem. the rest of china is catching up, and it's time for hk to accept that it IS part of china and that without the in/outflow of mainlanders, it could never survive.

macau was amazing. like a mini-vegas. even though i've never been to vegas, i can sort of understand why people are so attracted to it. the flashing lights, the surreal looking buildings... it just makes everyone kind of giddy with excitement. i've also never been in a casino since i turned 18, so being able to sit down and play was fun! i won a bit of money off blackjack and now i want to go play when i get back in montreal lol. im NOT ADDICTED I SWEAR. i just wanna earn a bit of extra cash lololol.

i also got to see one of my best friends race in a 2km dragonboat race... and he WON! we went for some egg tarts and.. they were delicious! i think the place was called cafe e natas and it's in a little butt fuck nowhere street. amaaaazing. flaky, delicious, melt in your mouth eggyness. just pure awesome.

as for now, im in shanghai currently. the smog is absolutely disgusting. the air and water quality suck. and i've gotten sick off the food i ate last night lol. not a good start. but im really impressed by the amount of high rises that overcrowd this place...

any one up for meeting me in china? call me up. my cell is 135-3082-6491. this is a temp sim card, so it'll be out of use as soon as im out of the country, but if you ARE here, please give me a call. :) i'm open to flying anywhere, i've got an amex ;)

MISS YOU GUYZZZZ. i'll ttyl :)

butterflies

2010-07-20T00:52:00.000-04:00

i always get jittery the night before the flight out. for some reason, i find it really hard to sleep b/c im pretty much imagining how much fun i'm going to have. also, planes just.. make me nervous.

there's something about quite a few tons of metal stuffed with human meat and luggage that somewhat frightens me. turbulence, for example, really kills me. we could be falling 3 ft or 10ft, but my eyes are going to be closed, fists clenched and i'm going to be praying to a god i usually don't believe in lol.

also, it doesnt bode well that i get really airsick... let's hope tomorrow won't be that case.

i'm also nervous b/c... there's something i have to do the day after i land. i haven't exactly been able to sleep too soundly b/c of it.. it's nothing i thought would ever happen to me, ... again.

i guess i'm just kind of tired of the games people play. here are some things that you may find interesting. or just.. repetitive. your pick, really.

rules of life:

1- be honest: with honesty comes trust. trust is the basis of all relationships whether it is with your brother, mother or the hobo on the street. without it, relationships crumble, people become suspicious, others close themselves up, etc. it's not a pretty sight.

2- don't assume things about others: prejudice is not in anyone's best interest. you know how they say "never judge a book by its cover", well... jeez, these maxims are there for a reason. now f*kin listen.

3- be true to yourself: never let anyone run you over with a lawn-mower. never accept an apology after that if they really hurt you that deep. chances are, at our age, if people are doing something one way, they won't change and their behaviour will not deviate much from what it is right now - unless something mind blowing happens to them like meeting some prostitute in a bar who is now a reformed non-prostitute who ran away from home b/c of a father that abused of her by cutting her with a kitchen knife.

4- listen to what others have to say: everyone has different baggage. everyone has a different background. in the world we live in today, if we don't come to terms with the fact that, yes, indeed, immigrants ARE overrunning the schools and actually excelling more than the local population in academics, then we are stuck in a rut and won't progress. everyone brings different things to the table. it's just a matter of taking the best of the bunch and fusing it to make a world domination plan - mouahahahahaha *evil grin*

5- never stop believing: they say that the human mind has barely uncovered 10-15% of its true potential. i, for one, believe in that. i think that we can do great things if we set our minds to it. i have almost always achieved my goals if i focus on the end point of the game, and i hope you have too. if you don't get what you want, learn a lesson. understand your weaknesses, and remember to overcome them. don't let life throw you a curve ball and then just lie flat on the ground.

anyway, enough of an "inspirational" self-help post lol. i have to sleep. my alarm is set for 5:30a.m.

i bet you i still won't be able to sleep though.

cheers!

last few days...

2010-07-17T11:39:00.001-04:00

i had quite a bit of fun in these past few days. it's been a while since i had a run out outings like that - school really kept me prisoner of my room this summer.

i dont think i've ever studied like that during my undergrad. there definitely was a larger intellectual component to it. and ironically i'm doing much better now than i performed just a semester ago.

enjoying the curriculum you study is just.. so much more important than i ever realized. good thing i'm finally starting to like what i'm doing?

my wednesday night was a funny night - started off with drinks at st sulpice, followed by sangria at a friend's nearby place (and SICK apt since he has his own terrasse.. what?!) then taking a wobbly walk to st laurent in search for an improved version of chow mein as well as general tao chicken.

the chow mein was actually semi decent - it wasn't that peanut buttered crap most of you are probably thinking about right now - it had bean sprouts in it and all... however, the general tao was a total let down. not crispy, sauce too tart. just not what i was looking for at 3 in the morning. the waitress also possibly looked like the most depressed waitress i'd ever seen in my life... i guess her life does suck if she's serving crappy food to drunken ppl, and even the drunken ppl realize it's shit lol.

so then on the ultimate quest for general tao, i convinced my friend to bixi US (yes , double riding in a state of inebriety is quite entertaining but.. probably not the smartest idea..) to the guy area.

obviously i wasn't thinking and it was closed when we got there (~4am) since we stopped by mcgill campus and i decided adventurously to climb on the construction cranes. the view is.. well, better than where i stand. and cranes are absolutely huge. in retrospect, yet another dumb idea lol, but it was still fun.

so we bixi'd back again. my legs were sore the next day even though ironically i wasn't the one pedalling. i was just holding up my legs and busy being scared we'd crash lol. i know, im retarded.

but all in all, a good night...

thursday morning wasn't that fabulous though, as i walked around in a haze until possibly 1pm ish. but i had a photoshoot with one of my really talented friends in one of the most luscious spaces i have ever seen in montreal, and that DEFINITELY woke me up! i can't wait to show you guys the pictures, but he's keeping it hush hush now. haha ;) quite the marketer!!

i leave tuesday for HK. i'm excited. that's all i can say right now. just to get out of here, and.. go home. *sigh* i can't wait to see my grandparents and.. EAT. XD im such a pig. :)

cheers.

hey jackass

2010-07-11T00:08:00.003-04:00

"yeah you. i'm talking to you. stop looking away.

look me in the eye when i talk to you! yeah. stop walking away. and stop changing the subject.

i'm tired of this crap. i'm tired of waiting. i'm tired of your stupid excuses. stop lying. be honest for once, you'll see how much better it feels and how much more respect you will gain from not telling lies.

i want you to suffer and hurt. i want you to crash and burn. tell me how it feels when you do. but don't come crawling back to me. i don't want to know you anymore. get it through that thick skull of yours.

i'll do what i want to thank-you-very-much. don't tell me i can't leave you. you can't dictate my actions anymore. i won't let you.

stop holding onto my wrists so painfully. stop leaving marks on my arms. stop leaving traces in my mind. stop making me bleed. i can't take it anymore.

next time... there won't be a next time.

i regret everything i've done for the past six months. absolutely nothing good has come out of it. it's been a bloody long waste of time.

it's not a contest, despite you trying to turn it into one. i won't let you win though. you won't end up hurting as much as me.

goodbye. forever.

signed,
X"

--- wow. that's all i can say at this point in time. (edit:no i didnt write this lol, but i did come across this in old stuff... XD)

you and i really have a lot in common. i wish emotions were just as easy to deconstruct as classic dishes. but maybe that's where the beauty and complexity of human emotions come from. you just can't pinpoint anything, and it can be completely irrational without not making sense.

if any of that made sense to you at all. food for thought.

cheers.

quick and easy, healthy dinner! :)

2010-07-09T17:06:00.001-04:00

so due to the extreme heat at home, i've actually moved out for a few days, and i've come to realize that i really enjoy living by myself. mostly because i get to eat exactly what i want lol. and not in a bad way! even though i do love junk food, i really love vegetables and healthy soups too! my mum just usually bulk buys a few vegetables and after a while, i guess you get a bit tired of the same old same old.

so i made a deliciousss yam noodle miso soup with beef balls, watercress, seaweed and an egg! oh, and topped that off with some boiled dumplings with sauce :) yuummmmmmm!! XD - ok, i'll admit though, i did cheat and bought frozen dumplings :P lol but they were still really good :P

---

MYwanderings Easy Peasy Healthy noodles :)

(and dumpling sauce cuz i didnt make the dumplings lol)

Ingredients:

- 1 scallion

- 1 clove of garlic

- optional: 1 egg

- dried seaweed

- a handful of watercress

- yam noodles

- beef balls

- miso paste

- soy sauce

- chinese vinegar

1. bring your water to a rolling boil

while you're waiting for water to boil, wash the watercress. let it dry. then finely chop the scallions and mince the garlic. set aside for garnish and for the dumpling dipping sauce. also, slice little "X's" into the beef balls. this helps them cook faster and when they cook, they open up.

this is watercress (for those who have never seen it before..) one of my favourite vegetables!

fresh, full of flavour and good for you ^^

finely chopped scallions and garlic

X's on my beef balls. i go about half way deep.

2. place dumplings in :P lol. they are done once they start floating (again, these were frozen!) lol.

3. take them out of the boiling water and set on a plate aside.

(now, you can either change the water and get it boiling again, or continue to use the same water)

4. make the miso soup base. for every cup of water, you should be using around a table spoon of miso paste. taste it and adjust to the amount desired. i like to have a lot of miso flavour and put in enough so that the miso kind of "settles" in the water if left to its own. see below picture for example.

i used this kind of miso paste

see how it settles down? yummm!

from this step on, i'll be boiling everything in the miso soup base to give my food more flavour.

5. boil the yam noodles, then drain and set in bowl. it takes 1-2min.

i use these in hotpot all the time, they have loads of fiber and very little calories and have just the right amount of chewiness to them! yum! <3

6. boil the beef balls, then the watercress. drain and set in plate.

everything should be ready as soon as the water boils! it's really that quick!!

7. optional: poach an egg and add to bowl once ready

i find it easiest done in a spoon, like so

8. add dried seaweed into miso soup base. if you have fresh seaweed it's better! bring to a boil and let it simmer for a few minutes so that the seaweed's flavour comes out. gather seaweed and place in your bowl.

i used this kind

9. now it's pretty much ready! just place a few pinches of the chopped up scallions on top of your bowl and then pour the soup base over your noodles, beef balls, watercress, (egg), seaweed!

tada!

10. and lastly make the dumpling's dipping sauce. i put 1/3 chinese vinegar, 2/3 soy sauce, put in the rest of your scallions and your garlic, mix and voila!

ready for your dumpling dipping pleasure! :) ....

f*cking delicious lol.

cheers!

bobbi brown's "Nectar" shimmer brick review + swatches

2010-07-08T21:16:00.001-04:00

"swept over cheeks or dabbed on lids, nothing lights up your face like shimmer." - Bobbi Brown

this is my first item from BB ever! my friend is ALWAYS raving about BB products and after seeing a deal i just could not resist on strawberrynet.com as well as many tantalizing reviews by the Muse, Temptalia and many others, i simply couldn't say no! :P (strawberrynet.com is a discount cosmetics seller that offers free shipping worldwide with excellent customer service and no minimum purchase required!! thank you baby jebus!)

comes with a "nice" big mirror!
(see review below for more details on the airquotes lol)

close up...

price: 18.45$CAD for 10.5g/0.4oz (retail price of a shimmer brick is ~48$ canadian), unboxed. - yes, it's huge! bigger than MAC MSF's and beauty powders by a whole .5g! this'll take FOREVER to finish!!

condition: new, a few scratches on the back of the packaging. nothing to fuss over for the price!

------

...swatches!

colours swatched individually in order from the bottom of the brick to the top

my favourites are the 1st and 3rd swatch!! just pigmented, smooth, gorgeous!

a swatch of a swirl of all colours - becomes a really frosty peachy pink

(unfortunately the white looking strip is overpowering to the beautiful darker colours of the brick)

here's me wearing the shimmer brick...

this is with extremely little product and the shimmer brick is buffed out to the maxxxx!

[+ we all know how the camera loves to wash out colours... XD]

(see review for more details..)

...Review:

colour: frosty peach pink is the overall colour if you take a swirl at it with your brush. individual swatches range from a desert rose colour to a harsh white-pink highlighter, which sadly overpowers the prettier shades when swirled.

pigmentation: the colours are pretty pigmented, so i would go in with a light hand

finish: unfortunately for me, this brick edges towards the frostier side of things on my NC30-35 skin. i love shimmery blushes and beauty powders which is obviously why i was attracted to this product (hello NARS orgasm and MAC shell pearl!), but this one is downright frosty, and with a couple of sweeps of this i'm totally the tin man's gf. i have to buff and buff and buff... it's just too much work for a girl in the morning. *yawns*

also, if you have imperfections, i can totally see this blowing your pores out of proportion. :S not exactly a dream come true...

texture: not as finely milled as i expected, but isn't overly chalky either. blends decently. some colours are smoother than others.

one last annoying thing about this is the overly chunky packaging. WHY on earth is the packaging so large (both width and height) when clearly the brick isn't that big?!

the mirror isn't even that helpful as mine has a really strange warm tinge to it, as if my mirror oxidized like a brown apple or something, which turns everything white into a cream ish colour and definitely doesn't allow me to gauge how much product i've put on!! it may look good in the mirror, but then catch yourself in front of another mirror and you'll be like OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

overall, for the price i paid, i can't complain, but i really don't see myself reaching for this very often despite positive reviews from many other bloggers. i think that on lighter skin tones it will look more flattering, but i'm totally not looking for such a pigmented highlighter! if you want to do a swap let me know ^^!

my summer blush at the moment is MAC's Marine Life highlighter (which is not at all a highlighter lol)- the perfect coral/red blush for that healthy i-just-ran-a-mile flush, and nothing even comes close to its finish/texture and pigmentation.

sorry bobbi brown. i'm just not impressed. maybe i'm just a die-hard MAC fanatic or maybe i expected too much?... ayeee lol. ~_~''. anyway hope that was helpful to some of you!

cheers!

a weird day makes for a weird FOTD

2010-06-29T21:31:00.002-04:00

ok so i'm cheating a little cuz this actually wasn't what i had on my face today... but today was a REALLY weird day.

people were.. well, quite angry lol. i dont know if it's the stuffy, prolonged, humid, grey weather, or the passing of the full moon (haha) but drivers were at their worst/lowest today, as were people's manners on public transit. my metro driver tried to close the door on me as i walked in. .. i was already waiting for the metro for a few minutes, not like he could've missed me ~_~''

but yeah, the other day, i woke up after a long night's sleep and.. i woke up with DOUBLE EYELIDS. now this means a lot to an asian girl with tiny double lids, that basically look like monolids!!

i looked in the mirror and kept starting at just how large my eye looked with the bigger fold. but i also noticed how strange i looked with such big, puffy, empty lids lol. soo i went a little make up crazy and decided to put on liquid eyeliner all over my lid (something i'd NEVER do with my current eyelids) as well as a smokey eye!

and let me tell you just how much EASIER it is to apply make up!! no more searching for a crease that doesn't really exist b/c it's actually there! having a fatter lid is fantastic!

too bad i woke up the next day and it was gone lol.

annnyway, here are the pictures/proof that it happened haha...

lol look at my eyes! they're so.. big!!

close up!

just the eyes (yes yes, i really should groom those eyebrows ><)

FOTD:

Missha M Perfect Cover BBcream No. 23 (i'm NC30-35 right now)

L'Oreal Magic Perfecting Base

L'Oreal mica liquid eyeliner

L'Oreal Extra Volume Collagen Mascara

Clinique neutral set eyeshadows

Nars Orgasm Blush

MAC Partial to Pink - just a dab for gloss

--> these are all some of my favourite products! <3

just so you know, these photos have NOT been retouched. not even for lighting!! i was standing in front of my window which is pretty bright + using flash. i think the Missha BBcream is to blame for my "glow". it also definitely helps remove imperfections from the camera. and unlike other people, i don't really see a "white cast" b/c i was using a flash as well and if you look at the 1st picture, my neck and face are the same colour...

ahhhh. missing my fat double lid. *sniff*

cheers.

L'Oreal Studio Secrets Magic Perfecting Base Review + Revlon Photoready Foundation Rant

2010-06-29T21:02:00.003-04:00

Randomly ended up in a drugstore b/c of sudden showers last week, so helllooo drugstore aisle beauty products :) haha.

Revlon PhotoReady Foundation mini-review:

anyway, so i tried the Revlon PhotoReady foundation which i've heard SO many ppl rave about.. and it was ... quite honestly: awful. i can't even come close to understanding why people are raving about it on youtube b/c to me:

it was really thick and greasy feeling;
oxidized like CRAZY - i.e. made me look like an oompa loompa!
not to mention made me look like a glitterbomb ready to go off any second due to an overly GLITTERY finish!!

wth Revlon!? what is this sh*t?!

also, the pump dispensed wayyy too much product (i barely pushed it down and it almost felt like the bottle was taking a dump on my hand). imo, the bottle looks tacky and the packaging is just.. cheap looking ~_~'' i guess i'm biased b/c i <3 NARS! simple, classy.. that's all a girl wants!

so mayyybe this foundation looks good on photos cuz it gives you a "dewy" look, but in real life... ohhh boy. lol. it's only meant to deceive the camera i guess... i didnt even bother shooting a couple of pictures b/c i was so grossed out. bleh. but the staying power of that stuff was.. incredible. i just couldn't get it off!!!

price? i didn't even bother checking. but i'm guessing it's around 20$ - quite expensive at this point for a drugstore purchase!

i am NEVER. GOING. TO. PURCHASE. lol :) i'm sure you get the point!

---------

annnnnywayyyyyy onto my real point!

so after looking at that disappointing product, i turned around and there was a brand new kiosk! ooooOOoooo lol.

the kiosk was really tacky and was flashing a big, flashy sign that said something like, "SECRET No. 1!" ahahaha. i died a little inside b/c of the cheeeeeziness.

lol yes, it was that exact pink colour on the sign!! ahahaha

so my friend and i looked at the stubby little pot, shrugged our shoulders and both stuck our fingers in to try it on our palms. and... it was LOVE!!!

colour: none - translucent. looks slightly pink toned in the glass container, but has no colour pay off

texture: like.. the smoothest thing you have ever felt. it's the "silicone" feel, but.. you gotta love how ridiculous and silky it feels! it's lightweight too, so you can barely feel like anything is there

finish: matte - helps with oil control + evens out bumps/helps fill in lines. impressive at that!

price: it was 14.50CAD which isn't the cheapest thing, but it's nothing to cry about

packaging: despite the tacky paper packaging (and honestly, a big waste of paper b/c the pot is only about as big as the window in the box), the actual container is very solid. it's glass, not plastic, and feels nice and weighty. once you scrap the paper box, the pot looks simple and elegant :)

i have used this as a base below my concealer and eyeshadow and it makes them last much longer! it also prevents creasing of eyeshadow and definitely makes the colour payoff more intense! however, i do feel like it makes stuff harder to apply. kind of like.. a grittier feeling. maybe that's what makes it stay longer? that gritty, more friction-y feeling? lol. hard to explain...

overall, im really pleased with my purchase. this little thing (15ml) is gonna last forever! you only need to dab a little tiny bit on with ur fingers! and yes, i would repurchase this!

go l'oreal!!

haha. alright, enough energy vaporized in this post.

cheers!

finally. i realize.

2010-06-24T22:47:00.002-04:00

"don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option."

wisest words i've heard in a while.

note to self: take good advice when it's in front of your face

duly noted.

To The Beach.. Swatches + Review

2010-06-15T01:08:00.003-04:00

this has kinda been on the backburner for a while, but i DID purchase all of this, well *almost* all of this the day the collection came out ;)

ok, so obvss i got the very coveted marine highlighter! i had to run all the way across town for it! ;)

tadaaaa ... isn't it f*ing gorgeous...?

close up..

(notice how the head of the seahorse is missing some overspray?

that's my finger lool i couldnt help but touch it! ><)

anddd no more overspray! :( it was pretty while it lasted

(and sorry about the inconsistency of the colours. the top 2 were taken without flash. the bottom with flash + different times of day... :S )

SWATCHES!

light part, coral part, mixed up

aren't the colours.. to. DIE. FOR.??

Use: this is probably not the best idea to use as a highlighter since it's so pigmented, and just the tiniest dab is enough to give you a really healthy coral flush with a slight sheen that's absolutely perfect for the summer. i find it best applied with the S187 brush, as well as an extremely light hand. otherwise you could just look like a clown... - so MAC, you failed to deliver a highlighter. but made an absolutely stunning blush.

Texture: extremely finely milled powder. blends well. stays put.

Finish: kind of a satiny sheen. very "glowy" and healthy looking.

Lasts for... this lasts ALL day. im not kidding when i said it was pigmented. you can try to rub it off your face if you overdid it, but it will be hard to remove. which is GREAT for a long day at work or school...

Packaging: needless to say, this is one of the ugliest casings i have ever seen MAC release. who wants a weird khaki ish green with their blush!? it's bound to clash... + i would've preferred if it at least came with a mirror or something... ohhh wells, it can't have everything

Overall: love love love it! ppl compliment me on my "rosy glow" whenever i wear this. :) surprising what a simple blush can do... :)

---

next up, the Weekend Creme Bronzer

i actually only ended up looking at this because i was just lounging around, wanting to try the highlighter out lol. and i believe that this may be one of the overlooked items due to the ridiculous (but worthy) hype over the hipness blush and the marine life highlighter, but turns out i fell in love with this and absolutely *had* to have it. it's creme in the pan, but as soon as it gets on your skin, turns to powder pretty much.

still brand new.. :)

rich chocolatey colour... mm. perfect for my skin!

SWATCH!

(layered on. you can make it more subtle for you face. but i wanted you to see the glitter in it)

Use: well.. bronzer, duh. but can also be used for contouring b/c it isn't overly shimmery

Texture: as i said above, creamy that blends into a nice, ultra smooth powder. i love the feeling of this. it is absolutely non-greasy if that's what you were thinking!

Finish: slightly glittery finish. definitely not discoball glittery, but there are a few little ones you can see. when the sun shines on your face.. the bronzer illuminates wherever the rays hit! liquid gold....

Lasts for.. unfortunately, i didn't find that this lasted long enough for my liking. because of the creme formula, it just tends to wear off faster/easier. perhaps if you layered a powder bronzer on top, this would make a great base!

Overall: loving this too. i haven't ever been this impressed with MAC products up to date. they've always been good, but not this fantastic.

I apply this with my S187 too, but the MUA suggested to use a foundation brush! the S187 is just more subtle and makes your shake-and-bake tan look fantastically realistic!

to the beach was a great collection and i hope you all went to check it out!! let me know if you got anything ;)

cheers!

blah

2010-06-15T00:03:00.003-04:00

sleep schedule all messed up right now. i wake up early, go to class. get home. and nap from 3-7pm.. and now.. im falling asleep again. what is with this newly acquired taste for my covers and pillow??...

zzZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzz

cheers. night. sweet dreams world.

ps. only about 35 more days until i leave... :)

and... i think i've gotten myself into a nice little mess again. *yayyyy*

telephone

2010-06-12T14:37:00.002-04:00

at least i had a nice and relaxing after-exam session yesterday - despite the absolutely brutal exam - with a couple friends. sangria + an awesome balcony view of the city and the river makes for a pleasant afternoon. :)

F1 is in town this weekend too... st laurent was really festive last night and for some strange reason EVERYONE thought that i was a tourist! haha. it was nice to feel foreign at home. it's hard to explain. but it almost makes it feel like you're travelling. free, careless... nothing but the day ahead to think and worry about. planning is a matter of minutes, and there are no hard choices to be made.

---

the time zone difference is really killing me. i'm day, and he's night. i'm asleep and he's up. everything is just upside-down at this point in time. but... it's all i have too.

suck it up little one. and take it like a man. it's only one month and a week away. ~~the hardest part is over.~~
~~too bad the feelings just aren't the same anymore...~~

hope you're all having a wonderful sunny weekend! :)
cheers.

i'm on a roll...

2010-06-10T18:40:00.004-04:00

who knew this week would be this dramatic? clearly i'm doing something wrong here to deserve this. i just have to figure out what it is and FAST. karma needs to be on my side tomorrow morning...

anyway, might as well listen to some really dramatic music to match.

great CD. a real emotional rollercoaster.

"you take my breath away

you're a super nova..."

*siiiigh* i just need to get out of this place. ASAP. let me go in peace...

a little celebration, a little late

2010-06-08T21:04:00.001-04:00

convocation. such a parental event. the thought of having finished my undergraduate degree hasn't really hit... since i'm right back at school now, trying to complete the CA program at McGill!

thoughts so far?
- everyone is SO hardcore! it seems like they all know what they want with their lives already and having found that purpose, are far more focused than i am
- but... at the same time, everyone is equally lost! lol. it's nice/comforting to know you're not the only one who is clueless.

otherwise.. here are some long overdue pics from my grad!! ^^

M and i! :D he's one of my bestieeees <3

the whiteboy came :) i'll miss this, i really will!

anddd of course the whole family

we had a ridiculous supper and it was FANTASTIC!!! i thought it would be lame, and i didnt even come close to tearing up at my own convocation (but recall tearing up at a friend's from 2 years ago - perhaps i have just become that much more cynical), i still enjoyed myself, and it was nice to know that... well, the world actually acknowledges your success now. and it's something commendable, and worth remembering.

some more pics from once i got home...

mum says i've lost weight... :)

here's to asian pouts! :D

on my face:

MAC marine life highlighter (blush)

Clinique eyeshadow (golden)

L'Oreal Volume Shocking Mascara - actually becoming one of my faves!

*now if only i had a make up remover potent enough to get it off my lashes!!*

MAC chromagraphic pencil (conceal)

Dress from F21

Necklace by ekiLove

anyway, neeeed to get back to studying! i have a midterm every single week! madness.. i know!

cheers!

long distance love?

2010-06-08T11:23:00.005-04:00

trust me, this is an invention of the human race. one of the possibly stupidest, yet "most romantic" (in the most sadistic way might i add) creations of our society.

why do you want to keep a liaison with someone on the other side of the globe?

why do you torture yourself ?

and how do you feel when it's all over?

a waste of time. too many hours spent on skype. too many hours spent on the phone. and just too few spent on your own life.

--

i dont know what there is to keep holding onto. (nothing in fact)
are these intangibles worth so much? why do i fail to see their value then?
or am i just not the hopeless romantic i thought i was??

last night was EPIC FAIL. to such proportions i didn't know myself capable of!
next time... no, there won't be a next time.

AHHHHHH

cheers </rant>

just thought it made so much sense when i heard this song!

summer days... :)

2010-05-30T15:09:00.003-04:00

it's the best feeling when you wake up, open those blinds and peer out into a really sunny sky!

the weather was absolutely perfect on friday - not too humid, slight breeze, and warm. i decided to go on a little excursion because of MAC's online customer service INCOMPETENCE. basically they confirmed an order for a product they no longer had in stock. wtf?! it's the 21st century ppl, get your IT systems updated, and integrate a freaking perpetual inventory system!!!

but discontent aside, i called up the MAC at fairview, and they were sooo nice. they basically called all across the city for me to find the product i wanted and set one aside for me!

off to the MAC pro store i went! :DDDD

on my way we fell upon these lovely colourful chairs! i couldn't resist sitting down.. XD. St Denis and the whole plateau area is full of quirky boutiques.. i really just wish that i had the time to peruse them at leisure! one day... after my exams are over...

anyway, as soon as i got to the store, i headed straight to the counter to pick up my very own MARINE LIFE HIGHLIGHTER! yessss! lol. i finally got my hands on one!

not only that, but the MAC pro store was so spacious and well organized that i couldn't help looking around. they had so many more products in stock and in general than the usual MAC stores. also, i found the staff to be much less snobby and just overall friendly! a great shopping experience, FINALLY. Just so you know though, i will probably never shop online MAC ever again. the online service was so crappy, it really gave me a bitter taste. not only that, but i wrote them an email telling them that it wasn't right to confirm an order that you didn't have, especially for such a coveted product that is impossible to find either online or in stores now (gl on Ebay), and i am stilllll waiting on that reply! tik-tok-tik-tok... how many days will i wait until i receive an answer??

but yes, here i am, happy, satisfied with my two purchases! (marine life highlighter and dressmaker, dressmaker lipstick!)

oh.. but the excursion doesn't end here!

two of my friends graciously tagged along with me and we headed to have succulent portugueuse chicken.. omg. i remember the first time i went to Romanos, i actually waited in line for about 2 hours! it was SO worth it though! the place has the feeling of an old school latino bakery, but they also serve roasted chicken! if you go, i would suggest placing an order in advance, and don't forget to ask for the SPICY SAUCE (which isn't so spicy but just awesomely flavourful).

we were lucky this time, as it was an odd time to be eating lunch/dinner (around 3pm) and there was absolutely no wait! the woman was so generous and reminded me of a caring grandmother who only wants to make you plump and feed you.. haha. she gave us sooo many fries! >< we barely finished it all..

so tell me just how ridiculous that portion is?! i really don't understand how anyone can possibly finish it by themselves, what with half a chicken, salad, rice, and fries that cover up the entire thing?! .. sooo worth the 8.99$ (taxes already included - and if you go at lunch time you also get a portugueuse egg tart!)

needless to say, we enjoyed it very much, and the whiteboy, even though it was his first time, thoroughly, finger-lickingly admitted it was pure food bliss.

----

so, hunger satiated - actually overly satiated lol - we continued our journey down from the plateau, and went along st. laurent. i wanted to show my friends this new frozen yogurt place called yeh! i went there 2 weeks ago with some work friends and everyone absolutely adoreddd it. it's kind of like pinkberry's (for you new yorkers or aspiring to be nyc'ers), where you get to pick your frozen icecream flavour, toppings (fruits, cookies, brownies, chocolates, caramel drizzle, etc.) and then you bring it to the cashier who weighs it, leaving you on average 4$ (including tax) lighter for a pretty decent portion of freshly made frozen yogurt! it was LOVE!

despite how full we all said we were, we couldn't help ourselves!!! these bowls are BIG too! XD. this is the photographer's bowl.. :)

here's the whiteboy and i enjoying our portion... he's like. stop taking pictures, let me eat! lol

all in all.. just a good afternoon. i wish more of these happened spontaneously like that, but i know everyone is really busy... we just have to take some time out and enjoy life sometimes.. :)

i'll leave you with this picture! i was feelin' retro for some reason... haha, don't mind the ridiculous shades! :)))

OOTD

Tank top - Mango

Belt - Random place in China

Leggings - Ardene

Gladiator sandals - Random place in China

Oversized purse - Random place in China (lol)

Bracelets - From Peru&Ecuador

Necklace - DSK jewellery Baller in Golden Shadow

Aviators - F21

The amazing weather and company? Pretty priceless ;)

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

cheers!

(ps. all photo credit to this lovely gentleman, thanks again for the rush edit! hehe)

and the withdrawal symptoms.. begin... NOW!

2010-05-26T00:17:00.000-04:00

it's funny how living on the other side of the earth from the ones you care about most affects you. most of my family has always lived on the far end of the planet and it always means so much when i can see them. but there are things here that just aren't the same over there, or at least can't be found in regular urban settings.

things like... grass, weeds, and automatic lawn sprinklers...

i really wish i could bring my grandpa on a walk around my block. i really want him to glance around and smell the fresh cut of grass from the neighbour's lawn. perhaps he'll even frown a bit from the overgrown mess that surrounds us, where the insects frolic and mosquitoes pervade our space... if only he could see.

i wish my grandmother could feel the fresh drizzle of a spring rain soaking through her skin and into her bones, quenching her thirst. i can imagine her, arms spread out, eyes closed, face upwards, smiling, ready to receive another wave of freshness; a gift of life that we take for granted... if only she were still amongst us.

and here i am, all grown up and ready to go out into the world. just like everyone else. but i won't give up just yet. i'll be a persistent little f***** and show you what i'm made of. because someone else i care about a lot has just migrated across the globe recently. even if it isn't permanent, i have to get through this. step by step.

today is only day 2... about 68 more to go? hopefully i can do this properly.

cheers.

(all photos were taken with my d90, 18-200mm)

update on.. life?

2010-05-24T23:36:00.000-04:00

the question mark does indeed seem pertinent as i have really not had much of a "life" outside of school.

literally, my day-to-day involves at least 3 hours of lectures during the weekday, followed by the usual wednesday night shift at work, and a weekend to play catch-up, interspersed with household chores - although i surprisingly welcome the labour nowadays... mowing the lawn doesn't seem half bad anymore.. compared to accounting rules and standards..

the professors have absolutely no mercy and really try to stuff our brains full of .. stuffing. like a dead turkey. no joke. only horrible imagery lol.

it's like a never-ending circle that i'm driving in, but for some strange reason, continue to, hoping miraculously that the next turn, i'll get out of the round-a-bout and end up somewhere fantastic and exciting! it's at times like this that i wished i paid attention during my undergrad. that i didn't just "get through" class for the sake of getting through it, but tried to understand properly. it's really gonna come bite me in the ass now!! so i have to make up for it with a lot more studying...

it's just hard when the weather is 30+ all weekend and all week long... XD

ohhh how i want to go travelling and just leave this place.. even if it were just for the weekend, i would love it!

where? anywhere sounds good to me!
- at this point in time, hong kong just seems so far. shanghai, hangzhou, nanjing, huangshan, wuyi shan.. *sniff*
only... 70 more days? the countdown begins now...

also.. will i survive this summer? hopefully i'll be resilient and just keep growing.. and growing.. and growing... ^^

cheers.

ps. hopefully some pictures soon...

smiles of the day... :)

2010-05-10T22:52:00.000-04:00

a bit tired...

but still asian as hell!! hehehe

CHEERS!

MAC Chromagraphic Pencil

2010-05-10T22:47:00.002-04:00

i know i know, i'm totally behind the trend.. but better late than never, right?

MAC's pret-a-papier collection was not one that i expected to tantalize me. i expected the colours to be kind of boring and plain, or just too unwearable (like the extremely coral lips of the model in the ad).

however, i did end up craving for some of their lipsticks, which were unfortunately sold out at my nearest MAC's before i got a chance to try them on), and after hearing from my friend about how absolutely *amazing* this pencil was, i needed to get it!

so, lucky me, walking into the ogilvy's in downtown montreal, i walk towards the stand.. oh noes!

IT WASN'T THERE ANYMORE!! i quickly asked the MUA if there were any left.. she said there might be one left in the back. but wasn't sure.

as i crossed my fingers and perused through other things (obviously, one does not get bored at MAC), she came back, triumphant, with an NW25/NC30 chromagraphic pencil.

in box..

and out of box!

so...

what is this baby for?

i have to admit that i was rather confused myself. the website doesn't give us detail as per its usage and apparently the MUA's didn't get much detail in the product guides either. however, she did suggest that i could use it to line my waterline as an alternative to white which may be a little too harsh, or as a concealer and even to line my lips or neutralize their colour. [fyi: the box says DO NOT USE ON LIPS. must've slipped her pretty little mind...]

the texture of the pencil is extremely creamy (surprisingly creamy i'd say) and blends awesomely!

simply put - this is an ideal concealer, but in the format of a convenient pencil. so, forget dabbing your fingers into that pot/using that wand/using that liquid concealer. it's all here, portable, blendable, with good coverage!

i LOVE this. im liking this so much that even though i *just* got it today, i already want a back up and maybe even one of the lighter ones to line my waterline! :)

ohhh MAC. how i hate these limited editions... you have one marketing GENIUS team!

these are PERMANENT at the pro stores *sweet!* ! the only difference is the packaging (it's black instead of wood textured). there is also a darker version at the pro store (NC45 or smth? not sure.. hahaXD)

cheers.

MAC SUPERGLASS PURCHASE

2010-05-10T22:35:00.001-04:00

superglassssss. how sweet the sound. lol.

awesome texture: creamy, like the cremesheen glasses, but with that extra kick of different sized glitter, somewhat reminiscent of snowflakes...

needless to say, i couldn't keep my hands off this collection and had to get me one... (yes only one, because i'm trying desperately to save! lol)

here it is... it's gorgeous lol.

in "sugar overload" - 21.50CAD

a beige-ish golden colour. the website describes it as a "white beige". it looks more golden to me :)

the glitter is multidimensional and also kind of .. iridescent (pink to almost pale green), which is why i feel that it gives my lips extra plumpness+drama. bonus points for MAC!

here's a pic comparing the glitter size/texture to the MAC dazzleglass (sorry for the non-corresponding colours, but as you can tell, the glitter is really find in the dazzleglass and is much chunkier for the superglass).

sugar overload superglass, smile dazzleglass

overall, i'm in love with the texture. it's surprisingly not gritty and disappointing like their dazzleglass creme collection, and lasts as long as regular MAC gloss, but obviously, as any glittery lipgloss does, leaves behind some annoying hard-to-get-rid-of glittery residue...

overall though, i think i might just snatch up another one. i was thinking gift wrap. how about you? what did you get? will you purchase?

mother's day

2010-05-10T22:28:00.000-04:00

as always, it's a tradition in the yu family to make breakfast for mum on mother's day!

this year, i made scones (they look god awful) and almond roches, along with a simple fruit dish ;)

it's truly the simple things in life that make it worthwhile...

clusters of chopped up almonds, crunchy like heaven, coated in creamy milk chocolate

ughhh just amazing!!! they're actually finished now! that's over a lb of almonds + chocolate.. hahahah

i love fruit... it must be in my biological nature to crave this sweet, sugary, natural goodness!

and of course.. what would mother's day be without gifts?

LOADS OF FACE MASKS!! hahaha...

you know you've got too many when...

i hope you had a wonderful sunday, despite the snow - if you were in montreal - and a happy mother's day!

thank you mummy. i love you! <3

whyyyyyyyyyyy?!

2010-05-09T01:12:00.002-04:00

I FORGOT TO BACK UP MY PANORAMIC PORTRAITS OF HK BEFORE FORMATTInG MY HD!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

><

now i stare at a really lame photo on my desktop. *sigh*

lesson learnt!

new ish start ..

2010-05-03T00:43:00.000-04:00

becoming a grad student within 3 days of finishing your undergraduate degree is not a torturous process that i wish upon anyone. however, as i usually never follow my own advice, here i am, just following the crowd and completing my education as soon as possible. *pukes*

is this the right decision? i don't know. my parents keep telling me just how important the reputation of the school from which you graduate is. that's the real reason why i'm continuing my education at mcgill... but when we all write the same final examinations (it's actually called the "Uniform Final Examination" lol) in order to receive our "CA" designation, is it really worth it to go to a school - that i'm sorry to say - but has not really lived up to my expectations in terms of intelligence pay out and development lol.

i felt like the entire program rewarded mediocre students (what with the bell-curving policies) and never really let the truly smart ones shine. examinations were all past repeats, and it basically meant that the number of contacts you had, aka the more practice/previous finals you could get your hands on, was proportionate to your final grade.

so you could tell me that i was the stupid one in fact for not calling people up, emailing them and hassling them around for a couple more decimals on my GPA. well, yes, point taken. but when our education system rewards people who are only capable of regurgitation and aren't capable to think out of the box, how can we progress? i don't feel the need to shine in this system because i feel that if i do, it just means that i'm silly and ridiculously narrow-minded as most people with high GPAs are. (sorry to any readers who believe they are exceptions. you might be... who knows? =P) so right now, i'm trying desperately to reach out of my current "bubble" and meet people with different perspectives, who truly understand what they study and with whom i am able to have some intelligent/stimulating conversation with.

sorry for the few exceptions who truly have made my undergrad worth living through. as for the rest of you... good luck in your future endeavours. i will probably see you around in the future seeing as how this world is simply too small for my liking lol. i hope that you will grow and that the next time i meet you, we will finally have something to talk about.

i need to stay positive. i really do. i'm just finding it harder and harder to stay positive in this superficial world. i need to find me some real friends. *siiiigh*

i spy.. with my little eye..

2010-04-21T00:54:00.000-04:00

something.. beautiful.

breath taking

and... magical

all were shot by yours truly with my friend's macro lens.

these photos have literally been sitting on my external for 4 months. it was time to take out the feather duster and clean up! i guess i miss him ~~a bit~~ ~~a lot~~ too much. i haven't exactly been the greatest friend, especially now that i'm busy with T.

i'll miss you penguin, i really will. before you leave, let's go for some peking duck, just the way you like it ^^!!

-----

apart from that, 2 exams the 27th and one last one the 29th. i'll really be the last one to kick the bucket lol.

cheers.

life.. in general i guess?

2010-04-19T01:17:00.000-04:00

CAUTION: TEXT/REFLECTION HEAVY!!!!

-------

so my blog went from a very personal blog - like on xanga - to a pretty impersonal one/make up blog + vids/reviews for a little while. then it evolved into a sort of photography blog for about 3 entries lol, and now i have a feeling it's turning into a personal blog again, although probably interspersed with hauls/packages and pictures that i deem important and relevant lol.

this blog, like me, is constantly evolving. i'm sorry if this throws off some readers, but i write what i want here, and even though i gave the whole make up review thing a go, it's really not for me! im wayy too lazy to keep tabs on the most fabulous trends, and also too lazy/broke to try out new products consistently, following up with a review to post for the world to see.

besides, with the 1232345287591401298 beauty blogs/vlogs out there, seriously, you don't need me ;)

so, i guess today has been somewhat of a long day. i did absolutely nothing, and it felt fantastic. but it also allowed me to really reflect upon who i've become.

i realize (albeit, far too late) that i'm disconnected with my faculty; my ideals don't seem to align with that of the typical management student due to various circumstances. i was never super rich, nor was i spoiled. in fact, i have had to work very hard to get where i am today, and i wouldn't have it any other way! (although a twisted part of me wants to know what being a pathetically spoiled brat would feel like ^^) don't get me wrong though, i'm not a hippy, and yes, i do shower within appropriate time windows lol; i also enjoy life's little luxuries, like the occasional fancy restaurant meal, or the make-up splurge :)

i think where i differ the most though, is in the way i value friendship; i value it in a much more long term way. i don't feel the need to be msging my best friends 24/7 and hanging out with them every day in order to remain "besties". that's not what it's about! it's about long term loyalty and when we do happen to meet up again, the same old feelings of affection and kindness resurface, as if we never left one another. now that's true friendship, not some queer bbm relationship!

i'm trying to understand why i'm different, or why i think i don't fit in, when apparently everyone thinks that i do? is there something wrong with me? or is it really just in my head?

*sigh*

aside from that everything else seems to be falling in place. haha... i always figure things out a little late ... =P

cheers.

~~p.s. i just did a sheet mask count, and i have roughly 100 sheet masks + another 20 eye masks and of course tubs/tubes of masks... now that my obsession with them has calmed, im like.. wtf mate lol.~~

the end of something old. the beginning to a fresh start

2010-04-13T01:59:00.000-04:00

my last day of undergrad classes, ever.

im officially old now, and should be responsible. hopefully it's an overnight process, because i really dont feel any different right now.

CA school starts on May 3rd. I finish final exams on April 29th. weeeeeeeeeee. yay for less than 1 week vacations!

i'll be updating about my new york trip soon. :)

eki package! :)

2010-04-08T00:56:00.001-04:00

ahh how late i am on updating this! i received this gorgeous package right before i left for NYC from eki!

this is an absolutely beautiful long gold necklace, something that i've been looking for the longest time!

her packaging is just so sweet and cute!

i can feel the love haha! :)

so many extras :) thanks for the candy and the ring!!

i LLOVE hello kitty candy!!

and of course, the necklace itself...

again, my camera just doesnt capture the sparkle of the swarovski crystal!

needless to say, i love this, it's super wearable and i wore it all weekend long haha!

ahh i can't wait for your new creations eki! <3

BUY HER CREATIONS HERE!

thanks again love! :)

quick post

2010-04-08T00:42:00.001-04:00

went to NYC this Easter weekend... it's been the first time since.. new years of 2001? right before the 9/11 attacks. so yes, i actually did get to see the world trade centers!

although i didnt get to do a lot of what i wanted to, and didnt get to eat where i wanted to, the weekend was great anyway. :) slightly awkward, but got over it after a day or so, and the rest of pretttty smooth sailing! :D

i havent processed most of my pictures, but here are a two of them... :)

leaving montreal...

we saw the most wonderful sunset from our tiny jet plane. the colours just dont do it justice!

and coming out the subway, just a few blocks down, look at this intersection...

BALLIN'!!! pearl and wall street. yeah yeahhh!!!!

loads more pictures to upload. will have stories to update. but until i finish class on the 12th, i will try to stave off of editing them!! :O

lalala

2010-03-21T23:40:00.001-04:00

i feel like it has been forever since i updated... but i really haven't been gone all that long...

this weekend was sliiiighly ridiculous to put it lightly. i was chock filled with love and had more fun than i've had in a very very long time.

i went to some "moustache et chapeau" themed party last night. true university shizz. i'd say possibly over 100 random university kids (who are all mutual friends-ish of one another) crammed into an apartment, BYOB, a good old iPod hooked to some big speaker, as well as lots of french people = CRAZINESS. nuff said. lol.

but really, 2010 has marked a good start for me. from throwing the most ridiculous NYE party, to passing the CFA and getting my McGill CA school acceptance (booya!) and finally settling on my career choice, i've truly felt blessed!

there are a few things i feel like i still need to work on because apparently i'm a huge bitch. everyone is afraid of me and really, im quite shocked since i'm such an innocent looking little asian girl ^^. kind of funny, but makes me rethink the way i act with people? should i be nicer? need i be more approachable? i can't even begin to imagine how i offend others to begin with, so this is honestly kind of hard for me to work on.

i always smile when i see people (even strangers when they make eye contact with me!), and i try to be as positive as i can despite my rather cynical nature...

i'll keep working on it. :) i wont give up.

cheers!
ps. picture-less posts will hopefully come to an end! XD i have a few gems i would love to share with you..

internet hate

2010-03-14T20:07:00.002-04:00

sometimes, i just don't get why people get so upset over the internet...

get over it, everyone has a different point of view. the way we choose to express it is our own. try to be 'respectful' and try to refrain from saying things that hurt other people's feelings.

alright, coming back to respect and not hurting other's feelings.. isn't that a lot to ask? what if it is not in my intentions to hurt anyone, yet you decide to come galloping by on your highly horse and give me a dirty and reprimanding glare for my inappropriateness? aren't you also hurting my feelings?

also, if you have something to say to me, at least have the respect to practice what you preach. i think those are the worst kinds of people out there: people who yell at you for something they are doing themselves. you know what they say? you hate what you see in other people because you do it too. funny innit?

and what is it with people liking/almost worshipping euphemisms? are we so chicken that we can't accept the truth?

people are always criticizing china for having strong censoring rules, especially when it comes to any form of media. well guess what? do you think the US government or the Canadian government let you say whatever you want? maybe the Canadian government doesn't give two cents about what you think, but let me assure you that you will be pulled aside in the USA and asked to come with 2 scary men, dressed in suits. (no stereotypes, only real life experiences.)

so quit yappin' and quit hating. live your life as it is. don't lie to yourself or try to make yourself feel better if it's not duly yours to experience.

be considerate, but don't pretend to be if you aren't. just be REAL. *sigh*. is it really so much to ask?

and now i find myself in a situation where i'm quite upset myself. gg, dear "friend", gg.

cheers.

save me from myself

2010-03-10T02:39:00.001-05:00

arggg. im 2 years too late, but i FINALLY got around to checking out Christina Aguilera's "Back to Basics" CD...

her best CD by far! just so mature, purely her, no longer solely commercial and every single song is unique and just.. so full of soul. her voice is truly truly flawless! my inspiration, my idol... good job christina!

my favourite song on the CD barely sounds like the bold, boisterous voice that we didn't expect from that little blonde. it's rather soft, accompanied by an acoustic guitar and violin. absolutely fantastic. scenes from her wedding are in the video i believe? :) soooo sweet.. i hope i can find a love like that to last me forever as well...

enjoy!

cheers.

2010-03-09T00:16:00.000-05:00

stay outta my lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

k, thanks, BYE!!!! *emphasis on the last word*

if you don't.. this could be the end of it all. and i'd just chuck it in the garbage anyway.

trust me, it hasn't been that long and i'm not so attached yet.

toniccc for the MCSS Dance Off 2K10 GRAND FINALE!

2010-03-07T01:55:00.002-05:00

yet again i end up in this place i don't care too much for. it's not my fault, we get money for it? so i whore out my time in order to give some to charity... not a bad trade-off haha.

picture of the night?

sorry for the shit quality photo. facebook compression, then saved then reuploaded via google... phew. that was a mouthful.

----------

here's another picture i wanted to share with you guys though. you may have seen it in a previous post, but here it is again, slightly modified by none other than J. Reyez himself!

he said he'll be using this as the cover of his next mixtape album! :) i'm pretty excited about this, obviously and i look forward to hearing it!! what do you guys think?

i'm so flattered that he is using my picture as a cover to his CD. that's just dope! :) i guess you can get serious when people ask you to get serious. right yannick? =P

anyway, it's really late, and i just had the most wonderful day ever. i wish it didn't have to end.

cheers.

~~supper was beyond perfection: nobody has ever cooked a full meal for me like that before, taking into consideration certain dietary restrictions i have now *cough*cough* thank youuu! <3~~

lots of love... :)

2010-03-02T01:19:00.002-05:00

just a random post with food, gifts/haul haha

ok, let's start off with the richest chocolate cake i have everrrr made.

think chocolate sponge, chocolate mousse, praline brulee, chocolate mousse, topped with chocolate shavings! :) of course, everything was made from scratch!! hehehe. :) i got the approval of the rents and everyone said it was restaurant worthy! <3

half a kilo of 72% chocolate, almost a liter of whipping cream, some sugar, half a stick of butter, nutella and a dozen eggs later i present...

ambiant lighting

with pop-up flash (ugh, don't the colours just look.. crappy?)

and then, my sasa haul arrived today! still missing 1 box.. but yeahhh quite the haul LOL. this was my own self-congratulatory passing-the-cfa gift. haha! :) trust me, it's cheaper than it looks though!

sooo many masks (MBD and a new brand i'm trying out "BeautyMate"), koji lash curler, some more catena eye and face masks, as well as silk whitia - buy one get one free!, shu uemura cleansing oil, and other randoms.... [lots of stuff was on sale!! hehe]

and then this morning, my friend gave me these. he brought them alllll the way back from the other side of the country!

all the mascots! loooooves it!!! <3 isn't he the BEST?!

lol and don't mind my dark shadows (no make up whatsoever!), i've been running on barely a few hours of sleep today cuz i was too excited to pick *someone* up at the airport haha... but OMG IT'S HUUUUGEE!! lool

soooo much love in my life. i'm so lucky... :)

i'm just.. really really happy right now. like i haven't been in years.

thank you very much.

cheers.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2010-02-27T15:54:00.003-05:00

so much fail. i just formatted my SD card by accident!!!!

WHY AM I SO STUPID!

lol there goes a few precious photos... XD

edited. mansi yu photography?

2010-02-24T00:40:00.003-05:00

watermarked, and ready to face the world :)

thanks to my awesome friend who gave me a script and allll.

i'm proud of these pictures. you may call it beginner's luck, but really, i think i'm catching on ;)

i hope you enjoy!!

Mr. J. Reyez...

Our 1st place winners! Pulse N' Limited

Our 2nd place winners! Urban Groove Dance Project

Contestants will be competing at TONIC CLUB LOUNGE on March 5th for the grand prize!!

So if you're in town COME CHEER THEM ON!! yeahh!

and here is a snapshot of Montreal's very own "Jabbawockeez"

haha. just kidding. one of my good friends performing! sick show!!!

(all pictures were taken with my d90, and a borrowed 35mm F1.8 lens)

------

so i've been giving photography some serious thought tonight. how good do you really need to be before getting paid for shoot an event? when should you ask for compensation, and when is it inappropriate?

can one really survive on paid contracts?

would one get bored of this? would one be able to find new ways of seeing the world every day, for a lifetime?...

tough questions. hard to find answers.

i wish my friend the best of luck since he's switching into a photography program! i know he can do it!!! <3 if anyone can reinvent the world in 230948304980293 photos, that would be him! (check out his blog! it's siiick!)

cheers!

JReyez in the HOUSE

2010-02-21T11:33:00.001-05:00

friday's show ended up being quite the success. although the numbers definitely didn't meet our expectations, the quality of the show was top notch and the performers were so so talented!

the MC for the night was the famous JReyez... although to be honest i'd never heard of him before lol. it's probably a localized phenomenon, and since he's from TO... XD i still did snap 2 shots with him though...

1st shot...

lol what a cutie... he was like, "let's make this one more.. interact"

(it looks like we're good friends lol)

you'd think a rapper would be a little more eloquent llool. but really, to me, he seemed quite shy!

needless to say, i had my camera on site and pretended to be an event photographer for the night. i met some really nice photographer and he lent me his 35mm F1.8 lens! he had some SERIOUS gear (and by serious i mean it looked like a telescope) as well as 2 bodies (which seems to be quite prerequisite when you are serious once again lol) and he had some GREAT advice to give. my friend obviously also gave me some fabulous advice and lent me another lens at one point as well. i feel so blessed to be surrounded by such generous and talented people!! <3

most of my shots still need to be processed, but here's 1 shot that looked pretty cool imo.

ok so on 2nd thought it doesnt seem that cool anymore compared to some of my other shots (lol ohhh the modesty..XD), but it has a lot of emotion in it!! all the dancers jumped on stage and chilled to the "we are the children" soundtrack. 'twas very touching and had a grandiose "show" effect - exactly what we needed.

shout out to all the performers, the photographers, the event coordinators and all my friends who came to support our event!! :)))))

alright, i actually really need to do some school work, DESPITE it being on reading week... *siiiigh*. but im going skiing tonight... something to look forward to! ^^

cheers!

am i half baked?

2010-02-17T03:08:00.005-05:00

who knew that a few words could change it all?

Rosewater Hand Therapy

2010-02-16T02:04:00.000-05:00

Ooohhh so it has been a while since i've done a solid blog review! hehe

i just wanted to share the love i have for this new product. i discovered it absolutely by accident one cold winter night (lol) when after walking in the freezing -30C weather, and my hands were cracked and blistered. my friend pulled out a weird aluminum tube out of her purse and handed it to me. "here, try this. you'll like it."

and... it was love at first touch! (and smell!)

the Rosewater hand cream by Crabtree and Evelyn is absolutely INCREDIBLE. it smells like real roses; not like cheap, fake, plastic-y ones, but real, fresh, blooming/thriving, love reppin' roses!

the texture is of medium consistency - just perfect, since it's not too thick, nor too runny for a hand cream.

it absorbs in a minute or so and with prolonged use will soften hands.

according to the back of the tube:

"our intensive, conditioning cream leaves hands feeling softer with each use. formulated with macadamia nut oil, shea butter and rosewater to moisturise and soothe hands, and myrrh to help condition cuticles and nails"

the packaging. super cute, vintage looking paper box-ish parcel.

the actual tube. they've recently changed the design on it! (used to be white)

Price: 15USD or 17.50CAD- right now, at Place Montreal Trust, Rosewater is the "Scent of the month" and you will receive 20% off before taxes on any purchase! :) --- it came to 15.35CAD when i bought it, tax included!

Size: 100ml

Thoughts:

pure awesomeness in a tube. i wish i had another one lying around, but really, im trying to cut back on my expenditures! i swear, this stuff is like coke, you just want to sniff it all day. i put it on whenever i think about it, and i already feel that my hands are softer, more moisturized and my cuticles/nails are definitely conditioned!

however, im really not a fan of the packaging. i find it looks kind of tacky, and not to mention that the metal gets deformed over time, and im sure it's going to look like an ugly shrivel by the time i'm through with this cream...

Verdict: I will most definitely repurchase once i run out (which will be soon at the rate im using this!) because it smells awesome, makes my hands softer, keeps them moisturized even in the harsh weather, and is just an overall pretty good deal. :)

thanks crabtree & evelyn!

click to purchase HERE. it's on sale now for 12USD!! what a steal!!

cheers.

you're beautiful... it's true.

2010-02-16T01:48:00.001-05:00

nothing but vain thoughts passed through my mind last night. seems like i am just as shallow as i thought i was. my temporary tolerance towards anything less than perfect was just my selfish soul trying to seek redemption somewhere in this world.

i want to be beautiful...

so i play by the rules. no smiling allowed on the premises.

or should i take it at a funny angle? ...and give myself a wannabe tan on photoshop?

but really.. smiling flatters me

so maybe i should start doing it more often, regardless of where you stand?

the look:

Coastal Scents 88 Warm Palette (AWESOME for smokey eyes!)

MUFE Aqualiner, Black

Lancome Oscillation Mascara

Maybelline Mauve Pulse Blush

YSL Lip Plumper in #4 Nude

DSK Golden Shadow Baller Necklace

~~my skin has gotten good lately :) im happy about that! haha...~~

----

on a very different note, happy TIGER YEAR!

the rents went crazy with the usual preparations (making of special foods and deserts). tradition is a key part of my family. i hope that i can pass them onto my children one day too...

painted this 2 years ago. the 3rd word sucks, but the rest is decent haha... gong hai fat choy! :D

simple looks are the best :)

- sportin' the Canada sweater! yeahyeahhhh! -

happy chinese new year! :) - i just had to throw that one in.. haha

the look:

Coastal Scents 88 Warm Palette

Maybelline Great Lash

NARS Orgasm Blush

Lipbalm

i hope this year brings you prosperity and happiness. i hope to find some of the latter myself....

cheers.

a need for closure

2010-02-13T04:01:00.000-05:00

butterflies in my tummy all day long. i haven't felt so uncomfortable in my skin for quite some time.

i wish you didn't pretend to not see my missed call. i just wanted to talk and clear things out; basically, i wanted to make sure we were on the same page, and wouldn't have future misunderstandings. trust me, i won't be the one to approach you now. i will be waiting on your call. if you don't make it... then i guess i misjudged your character: this wouldn't be anything new.

strong flashbacks come back in almost nauseating waves and i'm fully disgusted by my actions.

i was biting my nails today, and it sucks because they finally grew out again!! :(

but.. tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully it'll get better... right?

cheers.

~~(sorry for the disjunct thought process)~~

it's been a while...

2010-02-12T10:52:00.001-05:00

good friends, nice place. not a bad night overall.

i'm loving the indian cooking class i signed up for. we made some indian PARTY MIX yesterday. i think pretty much all the students were cracking up when we saw what the instructors were making...

it tasted like little crunchy bits of indian heaven though! and the curry ish substance that we made last night was quiteeee amazing.

i think i should just go into food critiquing now. major career shift? :)

i wish!!! (well my stomach wishes. free food and getting paid to write about it? AWESOME!)

alright, gotta get ready for new year's... lots of prep to do!!! :(

maybe i'll see you on the dancefloor tonight? <3

cheers.

~~on the other hand, i probably screwed up last night. ... ... ... gg mansi.~~

Biotherm Reviews Part I

2010-02-09T09:39:00.000-05:00

just a quick vid on biotherm things... :) this video contains my favourite biotherm 'skin perfector'!! LOVES IT!

finally another upload!

2010-01-30T13:19:00.006-05:00

"CFA level I: Pass"

amazeballs. but, now im left with the feeling of.. what next? when should i take my level II? this december? or in 2 years, after i pass my UFE for the Chartered Accountant designation... (assuming that I pass...) but by then won't all this finance material become a thing of the past?

nothing new really but procrastination in my life.

i may have found a new source of HAPPINESS. will update on that later :)

and here's an upload that was totally supposed to go up Wednesday night, but due to technical (and procrastination) issues was delayed until today! haha

cheers!

MBox + FOTD

2010-01-23T03:25:00.002-05:00

yesterday was a bit of a bummer. i had an extremely long and hard day at school, so i decided to go out at night and sing a little K since i have no school on fridays anyway. it has been a while since i've indulged in my asian callings *lol*.

i almost forgot how much i loved to sing, and even though my voice was a little cracked due to a hard weekend of yelling and partying up at Mont Blanc, i really enjoyed myself and can proudly still hum a decent tune! ^^

my room nominated me as their "representative" to go sing in a little competition going on that night. needless to say, everyone was SUPER talented. some more than others, but it was.. an interesting experience. i've never competed in a singing competition in my life, nor have i performed solo in front of more than my little room of my karaoke sweethearts, so it was more than nerve-wrecking! but thanks to 2 of my friends who came to support me anyway! :)

my FAVOURITE performer of the night actually didn't even sing much. i just found his song hilarious. (here is a quite literal translation of it)

"High heels so sexy,

Lace is so sexy,

100% girls I cannot find

0% girls are all over the place"

the %'s refer to the girls' beauty rating out of 100... LOL

i almost cried because the lyrics were so ridiculous. ohhh asian rappers. how you crack me up. XD

overall, it was a good night! and thanks to T for sneaking in that 'coke' and 'water' ;) haha

-----

FOTD

the school make up:

MAC MSF Natural in Medium Dark (buffed all over face)

Maybelline Blush in Mauve Pulse (very little buffed on cheeks)

L'Oreal Voluminous in Carbon Black

Lip Smacker lipbalm

the night make up (semi-smoky eye ^^):

MAC MSF Natural in Medium Dark (buffed all over face)

Maybelline Blush in Mauve Pulse (buffed on cheeks)

MAC Strobe Cream to highlight

L'Oreal Wear Infinite Quad in 218 Accentuated Taupe

L'Oreal Voluminous in Carbon Black

Smashbox Lipgloss in Illume

Eki's Signature Earrings

cheers!

ekilove package

2010-01-23T03:07:00.001-05:00

helloooo it has been a while.

school has been picking up at a nastily fast rate, and so i'm blogging a lot less! i wish i had more to share with you, but really, i haven't been on my blogger since last time! :(

so i got my package from eki a little bit ago, and let me tell you i love it to bits! <3

this girl is ridiculously talented! and suchhh a sweetie!

look how carefully it was wrapped...

even the back had a CUTE hello kitty sticker!!

and eki is so generous... she gave me a MBD White Truffle Mask + an EXTRA pair of earrings, and of course.. some chocolates :) so sweet of her!

goodies unravelled, no flash

with flash. aren't they gorgeous and sparkly?? :))

here is my favourite pair so far ! her 'kawaii anchor earrings'

BUY HERE

thank you eki! :) :) you're always so sweet!

cheers.

SASA HAUL! + Catena Collagen Crystal Eye Mask pre-Review

2010-01-13T00:47:00.002-05:00

wowwww

i bet you my post man thinks i am smuggling something into the country because i keep getting various sized packages at my house LOL

sooo here it is all unwrapped! (Sasa packages all come in registered post, very well wrapped and protected. everything was in perfect condition! shipping is free to Canada for purchases over 100USD, otherwise you pay a flat rate of... 18USD! rawr.)

sorry for the crappy lighting today! :(

from top to bottom, left to right:

Row 1: Catena Ocean caviar hydra vitalizing mask, Naris Up Skin Conditioner HA lotion, Catena Crystal Collagen Eye Mask - Vitamin C, Kose Clearturn Q10 Eye Mask

Row 2: Sasa 20 cotton cleansing pads (complementary!), MBD Lavender Provence, MBD Apple Polyphenol, 2x JUJU Cosmetics Aquamoist HA essence value pack - includes face mask but sells for the same price as the essence alone!

Row 3: Attirer Puff, MBD Chocolate, MBD Aloe, Vitacreme B12

:DDDDDD

you should've seen my face when i unwrapped all this and set it on my bed to take a picture of it lol. :DDD

OBVIOUSLY, i couldnt help myself from trying something out today, so i decided to test the Catena Collagen Crystal Eye Mask (it came in a pack of 6 * 2 eye masks and retailed for 4.50USD, which is a good deal imo)

According to the box, (which is really badly translated into English lol) this is suitable for :
"People who get the eye-bag *lol*, tiredness of the eyes, lack of sleep, stay up all night. Smokers and the poeple who watch the computer and TV often. Lady in menstrual phase and put on make-up all days."

It contains: "Collagen, Hyaluronic Acid, Vitamin B5, and cell grow ingredient" (what cell grow ingredient is.. o_O...)
as for the other ingredients, collagen is really good for skin's elasticity and for plumping out wrinkles, hyaluronic acid is SUPER moisturizing and retains moisture extremely well (i am actually obsessed with any product that has this as a main ingredient now!), vitamin b5 helps control oil, and plays a role in regeneration of skin cells.

it comes in small, thin individual packs that have lots of serum in it, which you can save or use right away just as a really moisturizing, lightweight serum :). me likey!!

here is the individual packaging:

and this is me (straight outta the shower!)... loool. i couldnt smile because that disturbed the mask lol. so i look serious!

(trust me, i rarely look soooo straight faced!)

and damn those stray hairs! rawr. my hair has a mind of its own i swear!

so, my thoughts so far?

- nice, cooling sensation, ideal for calming stressed out skin, and it definitely feels good after a long day!

- really nice, light fragrance. roses, or another floral blend

- after the 30 minutes, my skin felt smoother and i definitely felt refreshed.

did it brighten my under eye bags? not really. but my skin feels and looks super smooth and soft!

i will definitely repurchase! :)

teeheeeeeee. cheers!

phew

2010-01-12T01:17:00.000-05:00

just a discouraging day in general.

i wish dec 4, 2007 never happened. but really, im a little over 2 years late to regret it.
then why can't i sleep at night?

sorry if you do stumble upon this. it wasn't meant for you.

FOTD (a little washed out though...)

2010-01-09T02:24:00.003-05:00

after my long day, i realized my make up had held up pretty well despite the slight mishaps of the day!

now.. after uploading.. i have realized that the colours are completely washed out. i look tired, but not THAT tired in real life! i think it's time i invested in a concealer for those undereye circles... i'm currently just applying a bit more foundation under my eyes *lol*

what i was wearing:

Misscha Perfect Cover BB cream in #23

-->it really makes me look quite pale on camera, must be the spf42

NARS Orgasm

-->for some reason it really didn't show up well on camera! :(

MUFE waterproof eyeliner, black

Maybelline Lash Stylist

Eyeko Fat Balm in Mint

this picture is just to show you my GHD'd hair - i only go over the ends, not the entire head, otherwise you lose all the volume at the crown! :) isn't it long and sleek? definitely a change from my usually messy natural curls! ^^ i'm LOVING my pink ghd!

ok. time for bed now. for real.

cheers!

revelations

2010-01-09T02:16:00.001-05:00

another day, beginning with hopes of high productivity, but really, when do things turn out the way you want them to?

****

i had a great night out with the white boy yesterday evening. he got an interview at columbia university for grad school! i'm so so soooo proud of him! there wasn't a speck of doubt in my mind that he would get accepted at one of the top research institutions in the world!

so.. we celebrated quite accidentally by planning an all-you-can-eat sushi dinner. accidentally because he decided beforehand that he wanted to go out to eat!

[we ended up @ tokyo sushi, and.. i'm surprised to say that the service has FINALLY improved! it is one of the better all you can eat places on the island of Montreal and has a plethora of other cooked goods for the non-sushi lovers! notably tempura, and grilled shrimp, takoyaki, mussels, udon dishes, ramen, teriyaki, etc. *yum!*]

just a relaxing night out, no pressure, no expectations. just perfect.

and after eating until my innie became an outie, we slowly walked to the metro. life doesn't get much better than that.

so i went home, and as i slowly drifted off into an agitated sleep (sigh, this sleep thing has got to improve...) i was determined to make the next day count.

****

guess what? i woke up late, ended up skipping breakfast simply because i was too lazy to walk down the stairs (LOL); and finally, in an act of desperation when my stomach was angrily growling at me, ended up in the kitchen, took out the massive platter of tiramisu from the fridge, cut myself a monster slice, and consumed it hungrily while watching quite a few episodes of 'the big bang theory'. then i just headed over to concordia for the nth time since wednesday to buy a photocopied book.

there are just so many things wrong with the last paragraph lol.

AT LEAST the evening was spent in good company (as well as some seriously kick ass indian food!), and definitely made me think back on the friends that i've made and committed to in the past year or so.

some were better, some were worse. some simply didn't care for my existence, but used me as a pawn in their master plan. ok, perhaps i'm exaggerating, but hopefully you get what i mean.

this person definitely was one of the better friends made, although i cannot say we haven't had our differences. most often, we argue over trivial matters since we are both quite adamantly stubborn and always think we are right. also, we miscommunicate and then misinterpret, which leaves room for some pretty nasty gashes. but all in all, after the dust settles, i can confidently say that he is a good friend and that we've gotten to know each other quite deeply, despite having only known him for about a year.

in fact, perhaps tonight showed me that he cares a lot more about me than i thought. just a few words that he said were enough to make me realize how desert and empty my life really is sometimes...

to him if he is reading: thank you for making my life a little warmer and making me laugh all the time. i really enjoy the time spent with you!! <3

cheers.

1st day back-to-school special!

2010-01-05T00:40:00.002-05:00

hello all! i'm back with another vlog i guess :) it's actually quite fast now that i know how to work window's movie maker and i just let it load/compress wtv while i'm doing other things, so definitely more videos to come =D

other than that, it was my first day back to school.

it's a different semester in the sense that all my classes are the last ones. so.. loads of summary classes, really tying everything together that i've learnt throughout my undergraduate degree. it's... kind of scary because it means i'm graduating soon =( despite my complaints, i will most likely miss McGill University. *sigh*

anyway, i hope you guys enjoy!

special shout outs to Shan and Tyler :) thank you for encouraging my cosmetics obsession! lol

stuff in the video:
- Sana Hyaluronic Cream brief review
- Shiseido Aqualabel Aqua Effector brief review
- fiberwig mascara quick review
- Missha Set including:
BB cream no. 23, and Super Aqua set (toner, essence, cream)
-MAC lip conditioner in 'Close for Comfort' from the Warm and Cozy collection

cheers

brandddd new year! :D

2010-01-02T22:50:00.001-05:00

i always get excited for new years, probably more so than christmas (don't ask why!), and this year was no exception!

i decided to host my first EVER house party, and was a bit nervous on how it would turn out. so.. the ending was no where near spectacular (i'll let you all guess why...), but really, up until just a little past midnight, things were going really great! :)

thanks for all who came and made it a truly amazing night!!

here are a couple shots by my wonderful friend and photographic guru, Yannick Khong (seriously, check out his flickr, it's impressive!!!)

me and the white boy

the girlies :)

and it got a little intense with a few rounds of flip cup...

when it's new years, we gotta celebrate! (yes, that's me squished between two of my best friends lol)

part of the group...

what can i say... it was time to let loose! (btw, that's yannick having a good time too! lol)

my thoughts for this party? must. invite. more. girls. i just seem to know a lot more guys. but without the guys, the flip cup wouldn't have happened.. although, FYI, i was on a team with 3 girls and we DID win ;).

also, prepare more finger food. these savages completely destroyed my instant noodle hoard T-T as well as any chips, chocolate, or anything edible within their reach!

---

on a more personal note, this last year has really been a challenging one for me. i definitely went through phases that i'm not extremely proud of, but i think that at the end, i've *grown* (haha, definitely not physically..) or at least i really hope that i won't repeat such silly actions...

my resolutions?

go to the gym at least twice a week. so i'm not huge or anything, but i would like to stay fit. i miss just "sweating it out" and releasing my stress through a nice game of squash or something. :) so i'm really going to try to stick to that. healthy body, healthy mind. i need to sleep better too, and i have a feeling that not exercising properly was a key factor

make more time for myself. i overextended myself this semester in terms of placing others in front of me. this year, i will take more personal time and be more selfish when i need to. otherwise my mind and health will take a toll! i also need to start playing piano again and picking up old hobbies like sketching and singing. i used to waste a lot less time and be more productive!

make more friends. so i need some me time, but the past few year especially, i've been chasing ghosts from years past, and really limiting myself in terms of opportunities and meeting people. i think i'll try to work on that and expand my horizons.

3 is more than enough for me. i don't think i can possibly nor realistically stick to more.

happy new year to all! and i hope this year is a good one :)

cheers.

cirque du soleil :D

2009-12-30T20:47:00.000-05:00

so i've been stuck indoors completing corporate tax returns for the first time in my life and let me tell you how miserable it has been. i can't imagine anyone establishing a systematic method to fill in 4 forms that intertwine and like to reference one another from line to line. just W T F CRA? and Revenue QC.. wtf?!! it's enough to make anyone scream at the top of their lungs.

but at least i've been able to get out at night (perhaps a little too much lol) and really relax.

yesterday night, i went to see "alegria", cirque du soleil's show at the bell center.

it was a really nice experience. the music, the lighting effects and the costumes all played well together to form a seamless work of art.

but... am i crazy when i think that circus acts are just so sad?

maybe it was the girl's voice, so angelic and pure. perhaps it was the sad undertone to all of the songs, which is so common to most of cirque du soleil's acts. or maybe it was the lighting...

i'm not quite sure. but i can tell you that although the feats were quite extraordinary and really didn't have anything depressing about them, i found myself inexplicably on the verge of tears from time to time.

what i was amazed by was the fantasy world i found myself wound up in by the acts and the songs. it really brought me to another place, away from this -30C muck of a city. (i kid i kid, i love montreal, but really, the weather has been awful lately!!)

i give it a 4/5 - b/c the acts weren't THAT ridiculous. maybe i've just seen to many edgy chinese circus acts. that might be the reason haha.

favourite act of the night: i'm torn between the clown acts (in particular the one with the REALLY big airplane and the starwars theme) and the 1st "feat" with the two girls swinging. i swear i was breathless every time they turned or dropped from their trapeze..

so would i return to see another show?
definitely.

cheers!

LAST ONE!!

2009-12-20T17:27:00.000-05:00

last exam tomorrow from 9-12pm. OPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

i am oh-so-excited!! (not for the exam. for 12pm lol)

but i have a crammed day tomorrow...

12-2:30 ish - salon des metiers d'art with longlong
2:30-4 ish - Takara christmas lunch ish thingy.. im gonna bring red bean filled "mochi" :)
after that,

the white boy is bringing me out to dinner somewhere. he told me to bring nice clothes to change into. lol, that's a FIRST.

then... @ 10:30pm we get to watch AVATAR, with the IMAX EXPERIENCE!! buahahahaha.

really, it's the little things in life that get me excited. I CAN'T WAIT!!! :D

OMGGGGGGGG

2009-12-19T03:53:00.001-05:00

seriously, i thought i was saving time when i decided to do a video, but turns out i ran into all the possible things that could go wrong.. like.. EVER during tonight. which explains why a 10 minute video took me over 5 hours to upload and i'm still not even sure if it works. RAWR

youtube.. seriously gave me a lot of trouble. im not quite sure which formats youtube takes, and also they have this really stringent policy on the 10 minute limit, which is why my video is SUPER choppy cuz i had to reduce 2 mintues of talk by literally just finding random spots that weren't that productive lol...

anyway.. more videos to come? only if i get a hang of this!! rawr! the learning curve is gonna be steep haha!

ps. sorry for the SUPER crappy quality, but i was getting tired and i just wanted to upload it/export it as fast as possible! i'll try to be more patient next time :)

Chocolate Chip Cookie Perfection

2009-12-15T18:46:00.004-05:00

it's not often that i say this, but i really think that i'm amazing at baking chocolate chip cookies!

clearly, the recipe does the trick, but my mum/brother just can't get the same melt-in-your-mouth timing and texture that i can ^^, so i wanted to share my recipe with you all!!

MYwanderings Chocolate Chip Cookies :)

excuse the clutter behind the cookies. i was studying and munching away at them ^^

(makes about 12-15 medium sized cookies)
Ingredients:

- 125g softened butter (let it sit overnight)

- 150g soft dark brown sugar (just has a richer flavour, but regular brown sugar is fine too)

- 190g flour
- pinch of baking soda
- pinch of salt
- 1/2 tsp vanilla concentrate
- 1 large egg
- 170-200g of chocolate chips

Preparation:
1. Preheat the overn to 350 degrees Farenheit.
2. Make sure the butter is really soft. Tip: Avoid the microwave, but if you forgot to leave the butter out, make sure it doesn't turn all liquidy when you zap it! It's important that the butter keeps its volume so that your cookies have a light, fluffy, melt-in-your-mouth texture.
2. Cream the butter and brown sugar together with a wooden spoon. [Basically, you want to mix/beat it until the texture is smooth, the sugar seems a couple shades lighter, and the volume of the ingredients seems slightly larger than when you first placed it into the bowl.]
3. Add the vanilla, and mix well.
4. Add in a lightly beaten large egg now. This is fun because the mixture gets really slimy. Tip: Try to add a bit at a time, otherwise you'll have trouble mixing it all in together.
5. Now mix in all the dry ingredients EXCEPT the chocolate. Switch to a metal spoon, and try not to over work the dough.
6. Carefully mix in the chocolate chips. The weight I gave is really a rough estimate. It depends on how chocolate-y you want it to be!
7. Take a small/medium ice cream scoop or a regular table spoon and place small balls of the cookie dough on your baking sheet. I usually leave about 2 inches in between each one just in case.

my last bit of dough.. had to squeeze them in..

close up :)

8. Bake in the centre of the oven for 10-12 minutes, and remove when golden brown.
9. Let cool on your baking sheet. The cookies will continue to cook, but the centres of your cookies should still be gooey and deliciousss.

:) enjoy with a large cup of milk!!

cheers!

Eki Love ^^

2009-12-15T18:09:00.002-05:00

hellooo all,

another package has arrived at my place ^.^

i impatiently await the otherS (lol emphasis on the S, as, like i mentioned in an earlier post, studying, or basically me in front of a computer ends up with online purchasing transactions being performed lol).

but here's a little peek of what i received today!!

I placed an order from Eki about 2 weeks ago, and it finally got here :) - on a side note, i really think Post Canada/customs needs to get its ass in action. it doesn't take TWO weeks for a small package like this to arrive.. *sigh*

it was so carefully wrapped.. i almost didn't want to undo it!

ok, so for those of you who actually know me, i really don't like pink. but something about this bag just really caught my eye, and i thought i'd give pink another shot...

and i LOVE this pouch. it's perfect to hold all my go-to make up, and when you take this out in the washroom all the girls will be envious and admiring how skillfully it was made! i find it hard to believe that you made this Eki!! the stitching is perfectly done, the zipper works seamlessly, and it comes with a cuuute charm!

pretty isn't it?

(sorry about the chromatic aberration on this photo...)

thanks for the extras Eki; those chocolates will definitely fix my sweet tooth! thank you!! :)

i'm now lemming for her new "kawaii anchor earrings". they're soo gorgeous! go check out her website!

anyway, that's it for now, just wanted to share the love ;)

cheers.

lip smacker alert!

2009-12-11T20:13:00.000-05:00

RUN TO THE DOLLAR STORE in les Promenades de la Cathédrale!!

they are selling sets of 3 lipsmackers + an extremely cheap charm (lol) for 1$!!! such a steal!

they smell fruity, delicious, taste sweet. YUM! reminds me of the 5th grade, when these were *so* cool. lol

i want to go back for more. but really. it'll take me forever to use up 3 lip balms...

i guess you can be skeptical about them being in the dollar store, but i've tried all 3 out, and they still taste sweet and smell scrumptious! :) these things usually don't spoil until they are open anyway...

(i actually went there to find more Evian Affinity body lotion. does anyone know if they have discontinued this line?? the lotion is so amazing!!)

MUFE Aqua Eyes + FOTD

2009-12-11T19:35:00.003-05:00

lalalalalala

it's that time of year where you just can't escape the christmas spirit! it definitely just makes me want to shop lol.

sooo with the 15$ coupon i got off from being a sephora beauty insider ^^, i decided to get

the MUFE Aqua Eyes set, with 5 mini eyeliners!

it was labeled at 39CAD, but scanned in at 35$! (SCORE!) so with all the discount + taxes, came up to ~23$, which is totally reasonable!

isn't the casing absolutely adorable?!

here are the swatches

Ordered (# 0L - Black, 21L - Silver, 12L - Turquoise, 4L - Plum, 23L - Champagne):

[with flash]

[without flash]

the turquoise and champagne colours are definitely my favourite for now. they're just so shimmery and gorgeous, and totally wearable while giving that extra pop to any tired face.

their texture is extremely smooth, and glides on effortlessly. i'm really loving them already! but you'd think that something that smooth would not last for long and smudge all over the place, giving you raccoon eyes.

so i decided to test their smudge factor and see how much rubbing they could take without losing their vibrancy (because they are definitely water proof!)

this is after many, many, extremely intense rubs. if you rub your eyes like this, SHAME ON YOU! lol. so this is the "extreme". as you can see, they all have really reasonable staying power except for the champagne colour which came off quite fast. other than that, you can still sorta tell what the old colours used to be, so yay for staying power! :) i'm already quite happy with my purchase.

but.. would i buy each full sized eyeliner at the regular price [~20CAD]??.. probably not. not that i have ever tried anything comparable, but i think i'll be waiting until this stuff comes in the small 5 kit or until i can get a large discount once more!

----------------------------------

quick and easy FOTD:

woke up so tired, must be those exams wrecking my sleep schedule, inducing those NASTY eyebags. so i moisturized properly, and while streaming an episode of Bones, i did my make up lolol. i tried to get the summery look again, so i went a bit heavy on the bronzer. and... omg. i realized my foundation doesn't exactly match my skin colour anymore!!! i've never been this pale in my LIFE before i think... :( meaning i had to stiple some foundation onto my neck as well as brush the bronzer down it until it looked like a gradual colour. ARG! that was the most frustrating part of my day probably haha.

don't mind the hair. it was a bad hair day lol.

products used:

NARS Sheer Glow Foundation in Punjab

NARS Blush/Bronzer in Orgasm/Laguna

MAC Strobe Cream to highlight

Maybelline Lash Stylist Mascara

Lip Smacker Lipbalm

-----

then i decided to play with the turquoise+black eyeliner that i just got. and here was the end result! (left)

which one do you like better? left or right?

hihi and this is just me being me! (i'm a fob at heart, and i just can't hide it!)

hold on tight, only 2 more exams left!

cheers!

collecting shiny things

2009-12-08T00:46:00.005-05:00

it was about time i broke free of my every day habits. i changed things up a bit, and i can't say i'm not liking it :)

so there is this boy i met, blond hair, blue eyes, typical jock. except he wasn't. he was actually really smart and nice, and i couldn't help but smile when i thought about him. but really, did i want him? and do i want to commit, to open myself up and hope for the best once again?

it's all about the chase. beneath that, it's nothing else. i just want another trophy to adorn my dusty shelves. i've realized that since he left, it has been about the image he projects, about the security i can receive on the other end, and the pride that i may radiate when carefully showing him off to my friends and parents. i don't need the gossip about "why is she dating him", or "gosh, he's so ugly". i thought high school was over 5 years ago, but apparently it never is, and people will always judge you.

so is what i want and what i'm doing so wrong? am i that empty and soul-less and will i never find anyone?

who knows. it's all about luck and timing; there is no "skill" involved. it's not something you can control and that drives me insane!

and it has been 8 years. time to move on. i guess i'll see you in my dreams... *sigh*

---------------------------------------

on another note. i wrote my CFA on saturday: the 1st time i sat through a real standardized test. it was pretty brutal to be honest. two 3 hour blocks spread over 8 hours of time. ughhhh. not to mention that the afternoon segment was much more mentally demanding. good job CFA institute. please screw us all over after we've had lunch and are feeling just a tad sleepy.

however, i was surprised to find that some of the questions were repeats of either the end of the reading questions or mock exam/sample Q's. i was convinced that they would never do that - and so were the other mcgill students, but i think that we may now safely assume that they get their questions from a big bank. :) thank god i took the time to do a lot of those questions in the last 3 days before the exam!! if i can cram 2000+ pages in about 3 days, i feel invincible for my other finals.. or do i? lol.

all jokes aside, i was just annoyed that they wouldn't let me bring in my freaking ziplock bag that carried my numerous mechanical pencils, lead refills, eraser, wallet and calculator... really?! dude, they let me onto the airplane with LIQUIDS in a ziplock and i have to put a transparent plastic bag in a holding room? lol. the guy next to me that was putting down his real stuff gave me the dirtiest look ever when he saw me walk in, carefully place an empty ziplock on the table and leave immediately. hahaha.

i'll find out at the end of january if i need to take it again in june. this time, i really miscalculated the risk and the cost of my failure. there were some costs that i had been misinformed on, and found out today after a discussion with one of my other friends. let's hope i pass. i hope my friends passed too. :( it sucks that people have to fail. probably one of the worst feelings ever...

cheers.

DSK Jewelry <3 + FOTD

2009-11-30T19:06:00.003-05:00

so i read about DSK jewelry on SO many blogs, and i decided to see what the hype was all about!

my gosh, when i saw the jewelry, i totally fell in love! i've always been a sucker for stars, and these little babies are what got me haha!

so this picture does the jewelry absolutely no justice b/c they are really small and my lens refuses to take these into focus! rawr!

the star studs are perfect for every day wear and the dangly ones are for a quick pick me up, brightening up your complexion any day! :)

but the BALLER necklace (hoho, yes, that's what it's called) is really what caught my eye. it's about the size of the center of your palm (28mm i believe?) and it is absolutely STUNNING. i actually didn't realize, but they match with my old pair of swarovski earrings! (not a complete coincidence though, since this is all quality stuff - swarovski crystals + 925 sterling silver) i absolutely can't wait until those christmas parties to show them off ;)

the baller was so gorgeous that i *had* to camwhore it a little...

isn't it absolutely GORGEOUS?! and stephanie was really sweet and gave them to me in pretty boxes, as well as little cute pouches with candies (hrm, i wonder what customs thought!), which really brightened up the yucky slushy weather we got today...

anyway, so here's the link to her site again! dskjewelry.blogspot.com

i highly encourage you to go check her collection out (all of this jewelry was created by her)!! she's super helpful, replies with the speed of lightning and is just the nicest girl ever! she's extremely busy now, so is not accepting custom orders, but i think she is still accepting regular orders for wtv is left on her site!!

THANK YOU STEPHANIE!!! <3

------------------------------------------------------

next, a quick and simple fotd :) - wow, im really on fire today. so many posts ><

with flash

side view

no flash and weirdly exposed :(

what i used:

NARS sheer glow foundation in Punjab

MAC MSF Natural in Medium Dark to set/contour

NARS Orgasm

Clinique Sugar Sugar Eyeshadow

Prestige Grey eyeliner

Eyeko FatBalm in Mint

just really an overall summery feel, with warm and shimmery tones. (im trying to combat winter/depression/exams with all that i've got!)

cheers!

exam sched

2009-11-30T14:13:00.004-05:00

dec 5th 9-12pm, 2-5pm : CFA Level I
dec 9th 9-12pm, 2-5pm : Tax 2, Art of Listening
dec 15th 9-12pm: AFA
dec 21st 9-12pm: OP

more of a visual reminder to myself lol.

cheers.

ps. exam on the 21st.. whyy mcgill why?!

lady gaga is my idol

2009-11-26T12:48:00.002-05:00

shit this woman can SING!! listen to her amazing voice in this provocative new clip ;)

the images are sooo airbrushed and the ladies are absolutely gorgeous! can you feel the lady gaga-ness of the costumes, but yet hear beyonce's influence on lady gaga's vocals?! AMAZING COMBINATION.

watch the clip! it's hotttt!

last stretch before the last stretch of the last stretch?

2009-11-24T23:00:00.002-05:00

i feel like this has been redundant all semester long and i can't wait until i can stop being all cooped up in my room. the result has not been favourable for my credit card!

long hours on the computer = hours spent on fb as well as online stores, e-bay and blogs. it's SUCH a time killer, i couldn't even believe it. sometimes, i don't realize it, and an hour has already gone. kind of like just now! haha.

last test tomorrow.. until CFA + 2 finals 3 days right after!! woowoooooooo (dull sounding train).

the only thing that's holding my head up right now is this. i put it on my desk as a motivator. he was over today and said, "this is a really great picture of us." and he stared at it for a minute or so before putting it down, with a big grin on his face.

this was taken on the lares trek in peru. i finally found time to cut up the picture and put it in a frame. i find the frame really suits us, as we always used to call each other penguins :)

i hope we'll be best friends forever. i would very much like that! i want him to succeed and i know success lies ahead of him, but i'm so scared of what will happen once he leaves. let's just pray that he gets into harvard or something. the drive there/back isn't too bad haha!

ok back to studying! gotta focus!!

NARS Sheer Glow Foundation and Maybelline Pure Makeup Foundation

2009-11-20T01:18:00.003-05:00

finally time to post some reviews!

let's start with the NARS sheer glow foundation ;)

packaging: really pretty clear glass bottle with a tall plastic black lid. (although it makes the environmental side of me cringe a little) what i don't like though, is the fact that there is no pump, as shown in most stores. so... happy pouring!
consistency: product is very light-weight. doesn't feel like foundation at all. but blend quickly because it definitely dries fast.
price: pricey for 30ml. (55CAD)
skin tone range: absolutely huge range. when i went to the bay, i was at a loss where to start since there were so many shades... i wear "Punjab"
coverage: although i don't like to put tons of product on my face, this foundation gives light to heavy coverage. with the minimal amount i put on, it already makes my skin tone look even, and gives my skin a nice, healthy look. it gives my dry-combination skin a dewy finish after about 1 hour. my skin actually looks better once i remove this foundation! (apparently it contains some good-for-your-skin ingredients, evening out skin tone, moisturizing, etc.)

Final verdict: this is an absolutely fantastic product. it's pricey, but definitely worth every cent. it's not cakey, blends well and it doesn't feel like you are wearing anything on your face! i will repurchase this for sure!

here's a photo of me wearing the foundation in Punjab:

other products used:

NARS Orgasm/Laguna duo as blush/contour

MAC Image Maker (from the Photorealism quad) dusted over eyelids

Maybelline Great Lash

Prestige Grey Khol eyeliner

MAC strobe cream on nose bridge, and cheek bones

MAC boy bait cremeglass

------

Maybelline Pure Makeup

I couldn't turn down this opportunity when i passed by the l'oreal warehouse sale, since i bought 30ml of this stuff for... *drumroll* 1.25CAD. this is MADNESS!

anyway, so the product claims to be oil free, and 50% water based. (i was sold right there)

packaging: blue, opaque squeeze tube. (imagine a hand cream). i don't like the fact that it's opaque because i can't see how much product there was to begin with (nor do i know now how much there is left), but it's a cute baby blue tube, portable, and easy to squeeze out.
consistency: product is extremely light-weight. doesn't feel like foundation, but rather a tinted moisturizer. i wouldn't put this on with a brush, but i'd use my fingers because of the moisturizer consistency of it.
price: great value for 30ml. (7.99CAD) amazing deal!! - even better when i got it at 1.25$ ;)
skin tone range: limited, especially when it comes to the darker shades. i wear "Medium 1: Sandy Beige"
coverage: light to medium coverage (if you really layer this stuff on!) i love how the tiniest bit spreads really easily and blends amazingly. i wouldn't recommend this to ppl who want heavy coverage, because it doesn't deliver that. the finish is not entirely matte either, but rather like you've just put on a healthy dose of moisturizer.

Final verdict: i would most likely repurchase this, as i feel that it would be absolutely *perfect* for the summer. i also love how light it feels and that i don't feel like i'm wearing make up at all. my only complaint is that i found some of the product lodged into my smile lines by the end of the day, but i have never paired it with primer nor set it with powder, which i'm sure would help with that.

photo of me wearing this foundation in "Sandy Beige":

other products used:

NARS Orgasm/Laguna duo as blush/contour

Lancome Virtuose mascara

Eyeko 3-in-1 cream

Lipbalm

i hope that was useful to my few loyal readers :)

meet me half way?

2009-11-16T00:18:00.001-05:00

it's been a while since i've had a post dedicated to what's on my mind.

perhaps i have far too much gushing through my brain (or too little lol, depends on your point of reference), to kind of unload it in a neat and pretty way.

my midterms have killed me this semester and i truly felt spent like never before. i'm so close to just letting go of everything... ughhh. i haven't felt this hopeless in a really long time. my trouble focusing is really coming to bite me in the ass, and even though everyone claims to have this issue, i think i have a serious case of it, because it's affecting me in all the aspects of my life.

stuff has been on my mind constantly and i haven't really been able to sleep. maybe my lack on concentration stems from here. but, no matter how hard i try to get it out of my mind, i just can't. i keep thinking back and there's so much regret but i know it's actually too late to fix things. scenes replay in my head, i'm thinking about how one sentence would have made a difference, 5 more minutes, 3 more words. why was it so difficult for me to just do those things? i don't understand and i hope i will learn from my mistakes.

you're completely right. i need to stop living in the past. but when you haven't figured what went wrong... how could you ever let go? tell me honestly, would you be able to?

i'll stop crying when you do.

cheers.

MYwanderings

Pu capable

to be rich, or not to be... that is the question

cracking soon

sick for a week

Time flies.. Although sometimes not fast enough...

thankful for

oh how completely wrong i was

btw

rough week

seriously mcgill?

irene, you sassy b*tch

*pew pew pew pew pew*

just.. stop it.

evooooooo

a different person

depressing

post-moving-day-hell of a mess

moving day

end of seasons

flipping through memories

random bus ride

last summer of my life

FML

missing you missing me

afternoon off

scare the sh*t outta you

chillin', or not really

being an auditor...

life of a grown up

another long due post

title me up!

sleepless in shaoxing

shanghai in a day...

blogging from the other side of the world!

butterflies

last few days...

hey jackass

quick and easy, healthy dinner! :)

bobbi brown's "Nectar" shimmer brick review + swatches

a weird day makes for a weird FOTD

L'Oreal Studio Secrets Magic Perfecting Base Review + Revlon Photoready Foundation Rant

finally. i realize.

To The Beach.. Swatches + Review

blah

telephone

i'm on a roll...

a little celebration, a little late

long distance love?

summer days... :)

and the withdrawal symptoms.. begin... NOW!

update on.. life?

smiles of the day... :)

MAC Chromagraphic Pencil

MAC SUPERGLASS PURCHASE

mother's day

whyyyyyyyyyyy?!

new ish start ..

i spy.. with my little eye..

life.. in general i guess?

the end of something old. the beginning to a fresh start

eki package! :)

quick post

lalala

internet hate

save me from myself

toniccc for the MCSS Dance Off 2K10 GRAND FINALE!

lots of love... :)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

edited. mansi yu photography?

JReyez in the HOUSE

am i half baked?

Rosewater Hand Therapy

you're beautiful... it's true.

a need for closure

it's been a while...

Biotherm Reviews Part I

finally another upload!

MBox + FOTD

ekilove package

pew pew pew pew pew